2014 reading review!

huzzah!  2014!  even though we're 18 days into the new year -- 18 days ain't that bad!  all right, jumping right into it!

the one that was the overall favorite:  everything i never told you, celeste ng (the penguin press, 2014)

how had it begun?  like everything:  with mothers and fathers.  because of lydia’s mother and father, because of her mother’s and father’s mothers and fathers.  because long ago, her mother had gone missing, and her father had brought her home.  because more than anything, her mother had wanted to stand out; because more than anything, her father had wanted to blend in.  because those things had been impossible.  (25)

what an incredible debut.  we start with the death of sixteen-year-old lydia in 1970s ohio, and ng gracefully pulls back the layers of both the aftermath of her death and also the life leading up to her death, answering the questions of what happened, how she died, and why.  ng does a masterful job of diving into lydia and her family, exploring their relationships and dynamics, the ways that family fucks us up but holds onto us at the same time, and it’s wonderfully complex, this novel, a compact story that gets you in the heart and burrows under your skin.

ng also writes about being asian-american without explicitly writing about being asian american, weaving it into her narrative and characterization without calling blaring attention to it.  she writes about the prejudices against asian men, against women in the hard sciences, against interracial marriage and interracial children, and she does it deftly and beautifully and fearlessly, navigating the complicated web of family and its disappointments and secrets and fears, the ways we sometimes try to run away and disown the places we come from, only to find ourselves coming back against our will.  

maybe part of me loved this because it resounded so personally for me.  i read a comment from someone who didn’t like how ng wrote the parents, but the parents were so real and human to me with their burdensome expectations and their disappointments and their narrow perceptions, their inability to see how they were inflicting damage and harm on their children.  and this isn’t to say that parents are the only ones who do wrong because children do, too, because children are also living human beings with expectations and disappointments and narrow perceptions — and i loved this, too, about everything i never told you, that there’s a balance to this narrative, that ng isn’t out to demonize or condemn anyone but is simply telling a story, and it’s a beautiful, heart-breaking story, described pithily by the new york times as “a novel about the burden of being the first of your kind — a burden you do not always survive.”

 

the ones with the “theme:”  on such a full sea, chang-rae lee (riverhead, 2014); california, edan lepucki (little, brown, 2014); station eleven, emily st. john mandel (knopf, 2014)

he was the impetus, yes, the veritable without which, but not the whole story.  one person or thing can never comprise that, no matter ho much one is cherished, no matter how much one is loved.  a tale, like the universe, they ell us, expands ceaselessly each time you examine it, until there’s finally no telling exactly where it begins, or ends, or where it places you now.  (on such a full sea, 61)

&

even naïveté could have a purpose.  it was a survival skill, the same one that made a woman forget the pain of childbirth soon after it happened, so that she’d be willing to do it again someday.  the species had to continue, didn’t it?  (california, 107)

&

“you were the one i wanted to call,” he said, “when i got the news.”

“but why me?  we haven’t spoken since the last divorce hearing.”

“you know where i’m from,” he said, and she understood what he meant by this.  once we lived on an island in the ocean.  once we took the ferry to go to high school, and at night the sky was brilliant in the absence of all these city lights.  once we paddled canoes to the lighthouse to look at petroglyphs and fished for salmon and walked through deep forests, but all of this was completely unremarkable because everyone else we knew did these things too, and here in these lives we’ve built for ourselves, here in these hard and glittering cities, none of this would seem real if it wasn’t for you.  (station eleven, 207)

okay, yes, “technically,” on such a full sea is considered dystopian and california and station eleven are post-apocalyptic, but, whatever, are we quibbling about genres here?  when i was reading california, i kept thinking about on such a full sea, and, when i was reading station eleven, i thought about on such a full sea and california and how survival really isn’t sufficient, how we’re naturally drawn to community and family, how the world could go to shit and take with it all the comforts and privileges we once knew and how we can live without all that and adapt but we still need other people.

but, then, there’s the other side of it, too:  how the world going to shit brings out the ugliness in people, how the will to survive reinforces the us v. theme mentality, how we need something to believe in and how charismatic cult leaders will apparently always exist and prey on young, virginal women because … because idk, yey, patriarchy?  (-__-)

i liked on such a full sea for its communities, whether on the large scale of the narrative “we” or in smaller, person-to-person depictions, like quig and fan or the girls in the room, and i liked its commentary on privilege and competition and the things we’re willing to sacrifice for privilege.  i liked california for its portrait of a marriage, the secrets we keep from each other, and the compromises we’re willing to make for something better.  i liked station eleven for unspooling the symphony’s theme (taken from star trek), that “survival is insufficient,” because it’s true — we can’t simply sit around and survive; we need to make human connections, live lives of purpose, have some kind of hope that lets us know that life is more than this, it’s more than just us, it has meaning beyond mere existence.

and i liked reading these three books over the course of the year (on such a full sea in january, california in july, station eleven in november) because there was a fun, unintended continuity to it.  

 

the one that haunted me:  drifting house, krys lee (viking, 2012)

another time, gilho came home and found wuseong asleep, curled up on the hardwood floor without a pillow or blanket, and no yo underneath him, and when gilho woke him  up, the boy looked straight at him and said, “everywhere i go, a road,” before falling immediately back to sleep.  the line reminded gilho that he had, finally, lacked the courage to trust the person he had wanted to be; he walked away to recover from vertigo.  when he spoke of the boy’s strangeness to soonah on the phone, she said reasonably (she was always reasonable), “why don’t you find another tenant?”

gilho could only wonder.  in a country where a university degree made you respectable, the boy had dropped out because he wasn’t being taught anything.  he had thespian ambitions; he raised crippled animals for fun.  his idealism couldn’t last.  but what might have happened if gilho had not married and scrambled to provide soonah the life that she and her parents, that everyone, expected, if he had not been so susceptible to her fear or risk, of failure, of others’ eyes, all fears that were his own? (80-1)

drifting house is a compact, intense collection about koreans and kprean-americans and a lot of the struggles that modern koreans/korean-americans face, whether it’s domestic violence or fanatic religion or goose fathers (fathers who send their wives and children to the states while they stay behind in korea and send them money) or the IMF crisis — and i’m aware that issues like domestic violence or fanatic religion aren’t unique to modern koreans/korean-americans, but lee approaches them from the korea/korean-american angle, keeping one foot impressively in korea and another in korean america.

you don’t have to know much about postwar korea to read the stories, but i think the book makes for an interesting launching point into postwar and contemporary korea.  korea’s changed so much and so rapidly since the war, and lee burrows into the impact that’s had on postwar society/culture with quiet intensity.  she isn’t a loud, brash writer; her prose fits with how she speaks and carries herself; and there’s a lot of darkness lurking underneath the surface of her very polished prose.

i can’t wait for her novel to come out.  i hope it’s published soon.  like soon soon.  please?

 

the one that was most impressive:  a silent history, eli horiwitz, matthew derby, kevin moffett (FSG originals, 2014)

my daughter was who she was not because of anything i did or didn’t do but because she was part of me and part of mel.  everything that could’ve been done had already been done.  by the time our kids are born, the fire is already lit.  all we are doing as parents is helping them find the kindling.  (theodore greene, 507)

there are 27 narrators who carry this book.  27 first-person narrators giving their “testimonies.”  and, yes, this was co-authored by (or created by?  I’m not quite sure how it all breaks down) 3 people, but, even so, even if you were to divide 27 first-person narrators by 3 people, that’s still 9 narrators per co-author.  the voices are generally distinct and individual (admittedly, some less so than others, but the book is an overall successful attempt at multiple voices), and, together, these testimonies come together to tell a cohesive, nuanced, forward-moving story, rich with very prescient commentary about how we treat people who are different from us, how we Other them and create these us v. them distinctions like anything in life is so black and white.

 

the one everyone should read:  men explain things to me, rebecca solnit (haymarket books, 2014)

because:

most women fight wars on two fronts, one for whatever the putative topic is and one simply for the right to speak, to have ideas, to be acknowledged to be in possession of facts and truths, to have value, to be a human being.  things have gotten better, but this war won’t end in my lifetime.  i’m still fighting it, for myself certainly, but also for all those younger women who have something to say, in the hope that they will get to say it.  (“men explain things to me,” 10-1)

&

we have far more than eighty-seven thousand rapes in this country every year, but each of them is invariably portrayed as an isolated incident.  we have dots so close they’re splatters melting into a stain, but hardly anyone connects them, or names that stain.  in india they did.  they said that this is a civil rights issue, it’s a human rights issue, it’s everyone’s problem, it’s not isolated, and it’s never going to be acceptable again.  it has to change.  it’s your job to change it, and mine, and ours.  (“the longest war,” 38)

&

the new york times reported it this way:  “as the impact of mr. strauss-kahn’s predicament hit home, others, including some in the news media, began to reveal accounts, long suppressed or anonymous, of what they called mr. strauss-kahn’s previously predatory behavior toward women and his aggressive sexual pursuit of them, from students and journalists to subordinates.”

in other words, he created an atmosphere that was uncomfortable or dangerous for women, which would be one thing if he were working in, say, a small office.  but that a man who controls some part of the fate of the world apparently devoted his energies to generating fear, misery, and injustice around him says something about the shape of our world and the values of the nations and institutions that tolerated his behavior and that of men like him.  (“worlds collide in a luxury suite,” 46-7)

&

and the casual sexism is always there to rein us in, too:  a wall street journal editorial blaming fatherless children on mothers throws out the term “female careerism.”  salon writer amanda marcotte notes, “incidentally, if you google ‘female careerism,’ you get a bunch of links, but if you google ‘male careerism,’ google asks if you really meant ‘male careers’ or even ‘male careers.’  ‘careerism’ — the pathological need to have paid employment — is an affliction that only affects women, apparently.”

then there are all the tabloids patrolling the bodies and private lives of celebrity women and finding constant fault with them for being too fat, too thin, too sexy, not sexy enough, too single, not yet breeding, missing the chance to breed, having bred but failing to nurture adequately — and always assuming that each one’s ambition is not to be a great actress or singer or voice for liberty or adventurer but a wife and mother.  get back in the box, famous ladies.  (the fashion and women’s magazines devote a lot of their space to telling you how to pursue those goals yourself, or how to appreciate your shortcomings in relation to them.)  (“pandora’s box and the volunteer police force,” 118-9)

 

the one that was most beautiful:  the southern reach trilogy, jeff vandermeer (FSG originals, 2014)

there’s a regret in you, a kind of day mark you’ve let become obscured.  the expeditions are never told that people had lived here, worked here, got drunk here, and played music here.  people who lived in mobile homes and bungalows and lighthouses.  better not to think of people living here, of it being empty … and yet now you want someone to remember, to understand what was lost, even if it was little enough.  (acceptance, 90)

if you want to talk about books as objects [of art], then you have to talk about the southern reach trilogy.  or area x.  i think i just titled it the southern reach trilogy because that’s how i think about it … but, anyway, hardcover, softcover, both are beautifully and thoughtfully designed, from the cover design to the illustrations to the layouts — and one thing i love about the paperbacks is how consistent they are.  like, they even illustrated vandermeer’s author photo!

i appreciate well-designed books.  i appreciate well-designed books that also have well-designed layouts even more because it’s a peeve of mine to come upon a beautiful jacket only to open the book and go, what the fuck???   i appreciate well-designed books that have managed to capture the essence of the book and convey some of its personality without being reductive or cliche or obscure.  and i appreciate well-designed books all the more because i can imagine what a difficult task that must be, how much [implicit or explicit] pressure there is on the jacket because it usually is the first impression, that first look to seize a potential reader’s interest.

and i appreciate them even more in instances like this because it was the cover that made me first pick up annihilation.

(i also appreciate social media in this case, too; bravo, FSG’s twitter.)

the paperback covers for annihilation, authority, and acceptance are incredible.  they capture the wildness of area x, conveying the weirdness contained in these books, but they’re also beautiful and alluring and shiny (literally).  there’s an aggressive quality to the covers, too, a boldness conveyed in the lettering, and the way the illustrations wrap around the letters show how the wildness encroaches and takes over  — and, okay, yes, maybe i’m sitting here over-analyzing covers, but, holy crap, these are beautifully designed books, and, no, i’m still not over them.

 

the one that was the non-fiction … something:  without you, there is no us, suki kim (crown, 2014)

was this really conscionable?  awakening my students to what was not in the regime’s program could mean death for them and those they loved.  if they were to wake up and realize that the outside world was in fact not crumbling, that it was their country that was in danger of collapse, and that everything they had been taught about the great leader was bogus, would that make them happier?  how would they live from that point on?  awakening was a luxury available only to those in the free world.  (70)

suki kim spent six months as a writer disguised as a christian disguised as a professor at PUST, pyongyang university of science and technology, and this is the book that recounts her experience there.  i think it’s important (and crucial) to keep in mind that these are her experiences and her observations; this book is a memoir of her time as a professor at PUST; and, as such, it does make for an interesting read.

at the same time, though, i find the book a little shallow, maybe especially when i start thinking about it as a book about north korea.  kim does succeed in “humanizing” (as the word goes) her north korean students, and there is a fair amount of affection there, but, sometimes, it feels too pitying.  she pokes at her colleagues’ faith but does so without any sort of depth, with only the derisive dismissal of someone who doesn’t share that faith and looks down on it.  she references a lover back home in new york, but there’s also nothing more there, almost like she just wants us to know that she has a lover, he’s back home, and, for some reason, that’s something we need to know.

kim’s been criticized for her memoir, for supposedly breaking promises with PUST by writing her book, and she’s written in response to said criticism.  i don’t disagree with the heart of what she’s saying, that there is a need to humanize north koreans, that silence is what is unacceptable, that there is so much wrong going on in north korea that needs to be talked about openly and — i’d even go so far as to say — that there’s a lot of terrible representation of north koreans that’s stereotypical and/or reductive and/or lacking in empathy and understanding.  and i can even understand her suspicion of the evangelical christians who funded the building of PUST and are sending in teachers and professors who could essentially be missionaries, but, to be honest, i think i’d be more convinced of her argument had she fleshed out any criticisms in her memoir.  instead, she makes a few jabs at her believing colleagues, tries to draw parallels between their faith and juche ideology, but, in the end, she doesn’t say much more than that — and this, particularly, frustrated me because there’s so much there to mine, and she starts to head in that direction at one point but drops it.

in the end, i do recommend without you and find it worth a read, but do keep in mind that it’s a memoir and supplement your reading with other books like barbara demick’s incredible nothing to envy or jang jin-sung’s dear leader.

 

the one i enjoyed most:  mr. penumbra’s 24-hour bookstore, robin sloan (FSG, 2012)

you know, i’m really starting to think the whole world is just a patchwork quilt of crazy little cults, all with their own secret spaces, their own records, their own rules.  (253)

&

there is no immortality that is not built on friendship and work done with care.  all the secrets in the world worth knowing are hiding in plain sight.  it takes forty=one seconds to climb a ladder three stories tall.  it’s not easy to imagine the year 3012, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.  we have new capabilities now — strange powers we’re still getting used to.  the mountains are a message from aldrag the wyrm-father.  your life must be an open city, with all sorts of ways to wander in.  (288)

mr. penumbra’s 24-hour bookstore was so much fun.  the narrator (clay) finds work at a mysterious bookstore with mysterious clientele who come in to check out giant tomes written in code, and he gets drawn into a quest when the owner of the bookstore (mr. penumbra) vanishes one day.  and, yes, i’m a really shitty summary writer, so don’t let that put you off — penumbra is well worth the adventure; you’ll laugh; you’ll aww; you’ll tear up; you’ll marvel at the ease with which sloan situates his novel in the world and integrates google almost as a character of its own.

and, if you (for some reason) need more incentive to read penumbra, the cover glows in the dark.

 

the one i didn’t finish:  nobody is ever missing, catherine lacey (FSG originals, 2014)

i rarely drop books.  i don’t like dropping books.  i tried really hard not to drop this, especially because i’d been looking forward to it, but i just could not stand the narrator.  i found her so wholly unsympathetic, and i hated being inside her head.  i also couldn’t get past the prose — lacey tends toward very long, rambly paragraph-sentences, and, while i love my long, rambly paragraph-sentences, there are just too many of them in nobody is ever missing that my writing brain kept growling, edit, for fuck’s sake, EDIT.

 

the one i listened to:  the discomfort zone, jonathan franzen (FSG [hardcover], 2006; highbridge [audio], 2006)

“but kafka’s about your life!” avery said.  “not to take anything away from your admiration of rilke, but i’ll tell you right now, kafka’s a lot more about your life than rilke is.  kafka was like us.  all of these writers, they were human beings trying to make sense of their lives.  but kafka above all!  kafka was afraid of death, he had problems with sex, he had problems with women, he had problems with his job, he had problems with his parents.  and he was writing fiction to try to figure these things out.  that’s what this book is about.  that’s what all of these books are about.  actual living human being trying to make sense of death and the modern world and the mess of their lives.”  (“the foreign language,” 139-40)

audiobooks, i’ve discovered, are perfect for planes.  i can put on my headphones and disappear into a book without the headache that comes from reading on planes in that terrible lighting and through occasional turbulence.  

the discomfort zone was fun to listen to because i’ve read it previously (twice).  the material, therefore, was all familiar to me, and there were no surprises as far as content was concerned, so it was the tone, really, that made it a different experience, especially because franzen narrated it himself.  it felt like a way of “reading” the book as he’d written it to be read, with the emphases in the right places and the proper tone and moods in the right places, and it was fun because it was like being read to, and i enjoy being read to.  being on plane helped, too, because i couldn’t do my usual thing of doing something with my hands (i can’t just watch tv or see movies or talk on the phone; i have to be doing something else at the same time), so i could just put on my headphones and close my eyes and focus on franzen’s narration.

which wasn’t a hard thing to do.  i could listen to franzen read anything, even the phone book.  he has a lovely deep and throaty voice, and he’s one of those authors who reads well (not all authors read well), so i wish he’d narrate more of his work.

 

the one with my favorite passage:  without you, there is no us, suki kim (crown, 2014)

this passage gets me in the heart every time.  i’d even go so far as to say that it predisposed me kindly to the rest of the memoir:

the korean war lasted three years, with millions either dead or separated.  it never really ended but instead paused in the 1953 armistice exactly where it began, with koreas on both sides of the 38th parallel.  historians often refer to it as the “forgotten war,” but no korean considers it forgotten.  theirs is not a culture of forgetting.  the war is everywhere in today’s koreas.

there is, for example, the story of my father’s young female cousins, nursing students aged seventeen and eighteen, who disappeared during the war.  decades later, in the 1970s, their mother, my father’s aunt, received a letter from north korea via japan, the only contact her daughters ever made with her, and from that moment on, she was summoned to the korean central intelligence agency every few months on suspicion of espionage until she finally left south korea for good and died in st. antonio, texas.  the girls were never heard from again.  and there was my uncle, my mother’s brother, who was just seventeen when he was abducted by north korean soldiers at the start of the war, in june 1950.  he was never seen again.  he might or might not have been taken to pyongyang, and it was this suspended state of not knowing that drove my mother’s mother nearly crazy, and my mother, and to some degree me, who inherited their sorrow.

stories such as these abound in south korea, and probably north korea, if its people were allowed to tell them.  separation haunts the affected long after the actual incident.  it is a perpetual act of violation.  you know that the missing are there, just a few hours away, but you cannot see them or write to them or call them.  it could be your mother trapped on the other side of the border.  it could be your lover whom you will long for the rest of your life.  it could be your child whom you cannot get to, although he calls out your name and cries himself to sleep every night.  from seoul, pyongyang looms like a shadow, about 120 miles away, so close but impossible to touch.  decades of such longing sicken a nation.  the loss is remembered, and remember, like an illness, a heartbreak from which there is no healing, and you are left to wonder what happened to the life you were supposed to have together.  for those of us raised by mothers and fathers who experienced such trauma firsthand, it is impossible not to continue this remembering.  (11-2)

 

the one that impacted me as a writer:  lila, marilynne robinson (FSG, 2014)

if you think about a human face, it can be something you don’t want to look at, so sad or so hard or so kind.  it can be something you want to hide, because it pretty well shows where you’ve been and what you can expect.  and anybody at all can see it, but you can’t.  it just floats there in front of you.  it might as well be your soul, for all you can do to protect it.  what isn’t strange, when you think about it.  (82)

sometimes, authors teach you things through their books, and, sometimes, it’s not really anything factual but simply a way to be.  marilynne robinson was one of those authors for me this year, and, if i were to sum it up pithily, i’d put it so:  marilynne robinson taught me about writing with boldness.

over the last year, i rewrote a manuscript of short stories, and i feel like robinson came along at a good time for me.  i’ve been afraid to tackle specific issues in my stories, issues i wanted to write about but was afraid to for various reasons, but there’s something i found very emboldening about robinson’s books.  she writes about faith and doubt and the spaces between, and she writes with generosity and graciousness and tenderness.  and thoughtfulness.  there’s nothing careless about her books, nothing that feels loose or arbitrary, but there’s also an ease and naturalness to her writing, something about her prose that breathes easy — and i keep saying “books” because i read her gilead books all in a row and loved the experience of immersing myself in that world with those people for a few weeks.

lila, though.  LILA.  every time i try to talk about this book, i end up falling silent because my thoughts turn to goo.  lila, to me, at the heart of it, is a love story and not a mushy gushy one and also not one that’s only about two people falling in love but also a woman, in ways, learning to love and to be.  lila spent her life on the road, always ready to run, but then she comes to gilead and meets john ames and tries to leave but finds herself staying — and there’s something so sweet and heart-aching about lila and john ames, how they fit each other but seem to have together so late in life.

there’s more to lila than a love story, but that was my strongest takeaway from it, which is kind of remarkable because love stories and i don’t tend to mesh or hew strongly.  this one, though, stuck with me, maybe because there’s nothing saccharine sweet or stupidly sentimental about it.  it’s a very serious love because both lila and john ames are serious people, not ones to take such a thing as courtship or marriage lightly, but there’s a sweetness there, too, especially against the backdrop of lila’s backstory, which robinson also paints with tender integrity, avoiding melodramatic or overly pitying tones — and i love that about her writing, that she doesn’t give in or give sway to sentimentality or try to manipulate her readers’ emotions — robinson writes with integrity and with boldness, and that is a gift i’m incredibly grateful for.

 

by numbers:

the first book:  the surrendered, chang-rae lee (riverhead, 2010)

i was just going to leave my first, 52nd, and last books here in list form, but this passage from the surrendered is one of my favorites:

“you’ve taken pity on all of us, haven’t you?” he said, tugging her closer.  “i’m talking to you now!  i want you to listen to me now!  before you came this place was no matter or worse than any other orphanage in this damned country.  which was just fine for the kids and the aunties, and even for me.  there’s enough food and a roof and no more killing, and so what else is there to want?  but you’re leaving, and what do we have now?  you know what i found one of your girls doing after your husband announced you were leaving?”

“just let me go —“

“it was mee-sun.  she was at the well pump, drinking water straight from it like she was dying of thirst.  i passed her twice before i noticed she wasn’t stopping.  she was just drinking and drinking, getting her sweater soaked, and i had to pull her off it.  i thought she was going to drown herself.  i asked her what the hell she was doing, and she said she felt funny inside, because you weren’t going to be here anymore.  for some reason she felt like she was hungry again.  she said she used to do it during the war, so she wouldn’t feel so empty inside.”

“what would you have me do?  don’t you think i want to take every one of them?”

“then take them!” he said, grabbing her other wrist.  she resisted him and he pushed her against the shed wall without enough force that for a moment she thought he might hurt her.  and if he did she wouldn’t care.  she wouldn’t fight.  “did you think you could come and go so easily?  is this what happens in that precious brook of yours?  i want to know.  i thought it was about showing mercy to the helpless, to the innocent.  but i think that book of yours is worthless.  in fact, it’s worse than that.  it’s a lie.  it’s changed nothing and never will.”  (429-30)

the 52nd book:  the fall, albert camus (vintage, reissued 1991)

the last book:  you are one of them, elliott holt (the penguin press, 2013)

 

the author of the year:  jonathan franzen

like a wife who had died or a house that had burned, the clarity to think and the power to act were still vivd in his memory.  through a window that gave onto the next work, he could still see the clarity and see the power, just out of reach, beyond the window’s thermal panes.  he could see the desired outcomes, the drowning at sea, the shotgun blast, the plunge from a great height, so near to him still that he refused to believe he’d lost the opportunity to avail himself of their relief.

he wept at the injustice of his sentence.  “for God’s sake, chip,” he said loudly, because he sensed that this might be his last chance to liberate himself before he lost all contact with that clarity and pose rand it was therefore crucial that chip understand exactly what he wanted.  “i’m asking for your help!  you’ve got to get me out of this!  you have to put an end to it!”

even red-eyed, even tear-streaked, chip’s face was full of power and clarity.  here was a son whom he could trust to understand him as he understood himself; and so chip’s answer, when it came, was absolute.  chip’s answer told him that this was where the story ended.  it ended with chip shaking his head, it ended with him saying:  “i can’t, dad.  i can’t.”  (the corrections, 556-7)

franzen’s fun.  he’s complicated, kind of contradictory in ways, incendiary in discussions oftentimes, but fully human in all his contradictions and complexity, and his writing can be polarizing, bringing out strong opinions in people, usually about the likability of his characters or how he seems to loathe them, too, or about the way he writes about women.  he’s also wicked smart and well-informed and prone to oversharing, and he’s got a finger on the pulse of things, and, when i think of him, sometimes, i think of how everyone knows (or “knows”) what to think about him without actually having read him.  and, then, they go into his writing already with opinions about his writing, and that just complicates things more, and sometimes that’s good but other times it’s annoying because, if i have to sit and listen to people complaining about how unlikable his characters are, i might kick something because the whole likability/unlikability thing (in general) is so goddamn overdone and annoying.

i read (or reread) all of his novels this year, though i didn’t do so in order, starting with the corrections then freedom and picking up strong motion and finally the twenty-seventh city.  i also reread the discomfort zone and the essays i liked in farther away, which makes him my author of 2014, if only by the sheer amount of his work i read.

thoughts in semi-stream of conscious jumble:  i liked strong motion a whole lot, loved the way he wrote about cultish religion.  the ending was admittedly a little lukewarm for me but not so much that it put me off the book.  the twenty-seventh city was my least favorite:  the short, clipped sentences drove me a little mad; i couldn’t get behind jammu or singh or their whole conspiratorial takeover of st. louis; and i hated — h a t e d — the ending.  i actually pretty much stopped reading with ten-twenty pages to go, skimming the last few pages because i was so angry at the gratuitous (it felt very gratuitous and out of fucking nowhere) turn of events.  there are some really great essays in farther away, but i still think the collection tapers off at the end (i’m torn about franzen’s book reviews; his essays on other things, like the depressing plight of birds in the mediterranean, are incredible, though).  (also, franzen himself narrates the first two essays in farther away, yey!)  i’m not as annoyed by the first-person “autobiography” in freedom as people tend to be (i found myself more forgiving of it the second time around), and i tend to like his female characters (at least from strong motion on), like denise and renee and connie (i like connie; she deserves better than joey) — in many ways, i find them more compelling and sympathetic, while i’d like to kick the men in the ass.  the corrections, i think, is his funniest book and the one for which i have the most sentimental attachment (it was the first franzen i read).

do i think he’s a perfect writer?  no.  but i think he tries — he tries to write thoughtful books (in this, he succeeds), and he tries to write real, full people (he generally succeeds here, too, at least with his central cast of characters; his side characters tend to suffer), and he tries to place them in real, full worlds (in this, he succeeds; i’m always astounded by how well he knows his world).  and, as an author, he tries to be aware of his privilege as a white male writer, and he tries to support and help out other writers and pushes for women writers.  does he always succeed?  no, but i appreciate and acknowledge that he tries, that he’s aware of his position in the industry and of the clout of his name, but that he’s also aware that the best thing he can do is write the best books he can.  and i appreciate that the dialogue around him is pretty multi-faceted, that he raises strong opinions in people (though i wish more of said strong opinions would be better-informed), that even the sheer amount of attention paid to him points to how male (and white) publishing is.  

anyway.  i’m a fan.  clearly.  and i’m so very excited (and also kind of wary because, erm, fabulism?) for his next novel.  even if the title makes my face go :| … freedom i was okay with, but purity?  :|

 

the publisher of the year:  FSG (specifically FSG originals)

i read a lot from FSG this year (ok, FSG/picador because picador publishes much of [all of?] the paperbacks for FSG).  because i’m a sucker for this kind of thing, i actually tallied it up a few weeks ago, and i think (because idk where the paper went) it broke down into something like 18 of 61 books from FSG.  (knopf was second with 11.)

but we’re specifically talking about FSG originals here.

FSG originals describes itself as being “driven by voices that insist on being heard, stories that demand to be told, writers who are compelled to show us something new.  they defy categorization and expectation.  they are, in a word, original.”  and, considering that FSG originals has brought us titles like the silent history and area x, i’d consider that an apt description.  

it’s been fun to dive into the titles published through FSG originals.  i’ve had a mixed bag of reactions to the titles i’ve read thus far, but i find the books to be thoughtfully designed and presented, and i appreciate a [traditional] publisher trying different ways of publishing work that might be sidelined for being “different” or “weird” or “unconventional.”   FSG originals also just feels like a natural offshoot of FSG, hewing to the same qualities (good storytelling, strong writing, unique voices), so it doesn’t feel contrived, like something trying to be something else — so, all in all, i’m excited to see what new things they come out with this year and in the years to come!

 

2015

the ones i’m taking into 2015:

  1. alex ross, the rest is noise
  2. marisha pessl, special topics in calamity physics

the ones i’m looking forward to in 2015:

  1. kazuo ishiguro, the buried giant
  2. rachel kushner, the strange case of rachel k
  3. meghan daum (ed.):  selfish, shallow, and self-absorbed
  4. jonathan galassi, muse
  5. shin kyung-sook, the girl who wrote loneliness
  6. jonathan franzen, purity (!!!)

goals for 2015:

  1. read 75 books
  2. read/finish one book in korean every month
  3. blog consistently.

october reads!

so, october was the month i read marilynne robinson.  plus one other book, so let’s talk about that first because this is a month-to-month record thing:

forty-six.  thirty-eight witnesses, a. m. rosenthal.

this was unfortunately entirely forgettable.  it’s essentially a reprinting of articles written about the kitty genovese murder, so there was nothing new in here i hadn’t already known.

so.  marilynne robinson.

i started with gilead, then started reading homebut picked up lila because i wanted to read lila before the week of marilynne robinson events i planned on attending.  i do  wonder how the reading experience might be for someone who starts with home or lila because i felt that gilead anchored the other two books and created an interesting reading experience because we got to see some events in gilead from a different perspective.

one of the main things i loved about the gilead books is that robinson does such an exquisite job of portraying faith from different POVs.  we have the very theological, biblical, but generous attitude of john ames, but, then, on the other hand, we have lila who grew up being taught to be suspicious of preachers and churches.  we have jack who’s very bible-learned but whose faith is questionable — he knows all the right answers and can easily quote scripture and play hymns on the piano, but it’s not like he actually believes.  we have boughton who’s very rigid in his beliefs and doesn’t see outside them, and then we have glory who doesn’t seem to think much about things like faith or religion — she has to take care of her elderly father and worry about jack, the prodigal son.  and, all in all, i think robinson beautifully shows faith in different ways, and she doesn’t do so in patronizing or condescending tones.  if anything, my main takeaway from robinson’s fiction (and from following her around nyc for a week) is that she’s a genuinely kind, generous, thoughtful soul.

forty-seven.  gilead, marilynne robinson.

so my advice is this — don’t look for proofs.  don’t bother with them at all.  they are never sufficient to the question, and they’re always a little impertinent, i think, because they claim for God a place within our conceptual grasp.  and they will likely sound wrong to you even if you convince someone else with them.  that is very unsettling over the long term.  “let your words so shine before men,” etc.  it was coleridge who said christianity is a life, not a doctrine, words to that effect.  i’m not saying never doubt or question.  the Lord gave you a mind so that you would make honest use of it.  i’m saying you must be sure that the doubts and questions are your own, not, so to speak, the mustache and walking stick that happen to be the fashion of any particular moment.  (179)

this was a lot more poignant and heart-warming than i expected it to be.  i thought john ames would be a stodgy, dignified narrator — and he was — but there’s also a warmth and affection and humor to his voice.  you can feel the love he has for his son and for lila — there’s a beautiful tenderness running through the entire novel, and a lot of wisdom, too — i was honestly really surprised at how much bible (or christianity, i suppose) is present in gilead.

at the signing after the event at mcnally jackson, the only thing i could think to say to marilynne robinson was that her writing was teaching me how to write with boldness.  (she was nice enough to say thank you to that.)  and it’s true — i would say that faith is the thing i find hardest to talk or write about, especially on a personal level, so maybe, from that personal perspective, i find it pretty incredible how openly and generously robinson writes (and talks) about matters of faith.  and i think it’s also a testament to her that she can do so but still be so generously received.

anyway, i loved that robinson didn’t just stop at gilead but decided to delve into the other characters in this world because i love how we get to see how things aren’t exactly as john ames writes to his son.  in home and lila, we get different perspectives to certain events in gilead that make us see them (and, in connection, john ames) in a different light, not in the sense that ames is deliberately being misleading or trying to paint himself in the best possible angle in his letters to his son, but in the sense that we (as people) interpret things in different ways and, similarly, remember things in different ways.  or, even, that we want to remember things in certain ways.

forty-eight.  home, marilynne robinson.

“kinder to him!  i thanked God for him every day of his life, no matter how much grief, how much sorrow — and at the end of it all there is only more grief, more sorrow, and his life will go on that way, no help for it now.  you see something beautiful in a child, and you almost live for it, you feel as though you would die for it, but it isn’t yours to keep or to protect.  and if the child becomes a man who has no respect for himself, it’s just destroyed till you can hardly remember what it was —“  he said, “it’s like watching a child die in your arms.”  (294-5)

i would confess that i liked home significantly less than i liked gilead or lila.  part of me felt like it was a little too long, and there was certainly a lot of talk about home that felt a little heavy-handed.  i think i also was least compelled by the voice in home — robinson does such a wonderful job inhabiting ames’ voice in gilead, and the narrow third-person in lila is so intimate and close (at first, i wished robinson had written lila in the first-person but quickly dispelled of that thought).  home is also written in narrow third-person, and i appreciated how robinson really kept it focused on glory — all throughout home, we are with glory; we see things through her eyes — but i don’t know, maybe it’s just that i wasn’t that taken by the boughtons.

there were a lot of things about age and aging that i also appreciated in home.  and also about being a parent and hoping for things for your child but everything ultimately being out of your control.  i didn’t know what to make of the ending, though — i’m still ambivalent about it, though i lean a little more towards, “mmmmm … no?”

forty-nine.  lila, marilynne robinson.

that boy out at the cabin, he knew her.  married?  to a preacher?  sounds like you making that up.  that his child you got there?  meaning no harm, knowing no better.  it seemed almost as if she and lied to the preacher when she said she didn’t know that boy.  he had been at the edge of her sight all those years, orphaned, his whole life just that terrible little ember of pride, meanness and kindness all that he had to shelter it with, and the injured fearfulness that comes when anybody at all might do you the worst kind of harm, just by the way they look at you.  this old man is beautiful and kind and very patient, she thought, and he if looked at me that way i might just die of it.  well, but for now he is mine to touch if i want to.  so when she brought his coffee she put her arms around his neck and she kissed his hair.  might as well take pleasure where you can.  (169)

i LOVED lila.  like, this-book-broke-my-fucking-heart LOVED lila.  i have so many feelings about lila — she’s so tough and alone but full of love — love that she sometimes can’t seem to help — and robinson writes her unapologetically and truthfully, not trying to paint her as a pitiful, tragic character we should feel sorry for because of her past.  lila’s just a woman who had a hard life, unable to settle down or go to school or live a “normal” life, and this is just who she is, someone who’s had to fend for herself and figure out a way to survive on her own, and she’s tough but she isn’t brittle, she’s jaded maybe but she isn’t so cynical.

one of the things that really stood out to me was that, for lila, heaven and hell mean different things than they do to ames.  i generally love how robinson approaches faith (or doubt, i suppose) in lila because it’s so different here than it is in gilead or home, where we have characters who have grown up with christianity (and the privileges it brings).  robinson gives doubt (i don’t want to call it doubt, per se, but it’s the best word i can come up with at the moment) the same depth and genuineness and sincerity that she does faith, and, for me, it really came out in lila’s grappling with the concept of heaven — heaven and hell particularly are real to her in ways that they can’t be for ames or boughton.  there’s a beautiful scene where lila’s talking to john ames, and she tells him that heaven is something he can take for granted because everyone he knows is going to be there.  he doesn’t have to think about hell except as an almost theoretical concept, an idea of a place that exists but doesn’t really hold reality for him because everyone he knows and has known and loved is going to heaven, but, for lila, the only person she loved was most certainly never saved — so, if lila were to go to heaven, she would never see doll again.  

and it sounds like such a simple thing, but robinson writes it in such wonderful ways that really bring lila’s hesitation (or fear, you could say) to life.  it’s not that simple — faith is not that simple — love is not that simple — and, yes, at the heart of it, lila is the love story of lila and john ames, this kind of strange, unexpected pairing that just works.  they’re good together, and not in a one-directional way — he’s good for her, just like she’s good for him — and there’s this tenderness between them that just makes your heart ache.  the whole time i was reading it, i wanted to fall in love (sigh, where’s my old man love?!), and i kept worrying about what would happen to lila and robby after john ames dies.  i know lila and robby will be fine, though, because lila’s a survivor.  i still worry, though, because lila won’t have john ames anymore, and that thought still makes my heart twinge.

anyway, in other updates, i finished my book, sent it off to the hopefully-to-be-mine agent, and am now twiddling my thumbs and trying to suppress the anxiety pangs.  ok that’s not all i’m doing — i started reading the brothers karamazov, then promptly had a brief fling with strong motion (i have a lot of thoughts about that, too, especially because i read strong motion right after re-reading his lecture, “on autobiographical fiction,” and i have a lot of thoughts about franzen’s oversharing), and i started working on my next book because, well, why not?  i’ve also been eating kitkat by the XL-bar (aka three 4-piece bars in one giant bar) and sleeping a lot and thinking that i ought to get another tattoo because, fucki wrote a book, and that deserves celebrating, regardless of what happens to it.

i "stalked" marilynne robinson for a week.

heard marilynne robinson read/speak/answer questions four times in the last seven days (the third time, the 92Y specifically said no photographs).  it’s been a pretty great seven days.  :D

tomorrow, i’m baking funfetti biscotti in the afternoon and going to hear suki kim talk about her fantastic memoir without you, there is no us.

it feels like an eventful week:

01.  went to see nell zink with jonathan franzen on wednesday night, and, in his introduction to nell zink, franzen said something lovely, “writers know who they are and then it’s just a matter of the rest of us catching up.”  (this is not a word-for-word quote.)

02.  heard marilynne robinson on thursday, then again on friday and will be seeing her again on monday and wednesday.  yup.  more on her and gilead, home, and lila soon.  tidbits from her appearance at mcnally jackson on thursday (these are not necessarily word-for-word quotes):

-  robinson:  first person isn’t ideal for getting into a character.
galassi:  because it’s a performance?
robinson:  because people are so often wrong about themselves.

-  i tend to use sacramental expressions in my fiction as gestures of human care.  they’re essentially pointing to things that are essential to the human experience.

-  ”… the middle west, of which i knew nothing, except that you fly over it.”

-  people aren’t good at being honest with themselves, and societies aren’t either.

-  it’s rare to find anyone who’s actually read the old testament, but everyone knows what to think about the old testament.

03.  went to the hachette book club brunch today and felt very young and very asian.  loved the literary fiction panel — tidbits:

re:  beginnings
edan lepucki said she finds beginnings exciting because they come before you know all the problems.  the book seems perfect then.  joshua ferris said that the problem is that the beginning isn’t the beginning you’re writing — you throw out so much, and that’s also time you’re throwing out, which can feel anguishing, except you realize that it still all leads somewhere so it isn’t time wasted.

re:  likability
lepucki said that likability isn’t necessarily a question, and, apparently, she has an article coming up in the millions about likability because what is with people and “likability,” especially when it comes to female characters?  (okay the question bit might be coming more from me because i hate the whole “likability” crap.  no one makes a big deal about unlikable male characters, and i oftentimes feel that the female characters who are human and are displaying human traits and human vulnerability and basically just human humanity are written off as “unlikable.”)

re:  writing
she also said that, sometimes, writing can feel so awful that it’s better to think of writing as a gift you’re giving someone.  like an act of generosity.  i loved that because, ohhhh, writing can feel so awful sometimes, and that’s a lovely perspective.

re:  writers not reading when writing
susan choi and meg wolitzer talked about this at the paperback launch of the interestings, too, and i can’t seem to find the notes i took that night (i thought i typed them up on evernote, but i guess not?) — but wolitzer said that she isn’t afraid of her writing being derivative or being influenced, which is the reason some writers give for not reading while writing.  i don’t personally subscribe to that because i tend to think (pretty strongly) that all writers should be reading.  i loved how lepucki put it, “reading voraciously makes me feel human,” which comes around to feed the writing.

re:  edits/criticism
ferris said he approaches them in good faith, that everyone (his editor, his wife, &c) are working in good faith and wanting the best for a book.  

(but i suppose the big thing that made this a big week is that i sent my manuscript to my reader last night, and she’s being so incredibly generous and awesome and reading it over the weekend and skyping me notes tomorrow.  T_T  there’s still quite a bit of work to do on these stories, but they’re shaping up nicely, in good enough shape that i finally think they’d benefit from a fresh set of eyes!  my book baby is getting there!)