what i've been reading.

a few years ago, i made a conscious decision to read only from authors of color, and that scope has narrowed further over time to focus on asian/asian diasporic authors, mostly korean. 2023 was spent mostly reading for research for my book, which was incredibly insightful and informative (unsurprisingly) and has helped provide more context for my casual reading, especially of korean literature-in-translation.

two (more generalized, less specialized) books that stood out to me were hannah michell’s EXCAVATIONS (one world, 2023) and vincent cha and ramon pacheco pardo’s KOREA: A NEW HISTORY OF SOUTH AND NORTH (yale university press, 2023). the former is a novel set in mid-1990s korea around the collapse of a fictional department store (which was based on the actual collapse of the sampoong department store in 1995), and the latter a book of nonfiction by two diplomats to korea, focusing on the twentieth century and providing inside political observations and insight into the ever-present question of reunification. the two books pair very well, and i recommend reading them together.

the twentieth century was a tumultuous time for korea, starting with her occupation by imperial japan, which ended when the united states dropped atomic bombs on hiroshima and nagasaki and brought an end to world war ii. (in an incredibly gross display of tone deaf imperialist arrogance, the united states declined to attend the peace ceremony in nagasaki this year — the united states, the only country that has dropped atomic bombs, as it currently supports the genocide of palestinians and maintains military bases around the globe.)  the united states and former soviet union then stepped in to divide the korean peninsula at an arbitrary point (literally — the white soldier who split korea in two at the thirty-eighth parallel knew nothing about korea and basically just pointed at a line on a map), which then led to the korean war, the first “hot” conflict of the cold war, which led to the decimation of the korean peninsula and the slaughter of korean civilians by the united states, until a ceasefire was signed between north korea, china, and the united states in 195#. the korean peninsula remains in an active state of war, and the united states maintains its interest in the region with military bases that mete out its usual murderous and environmental harm. truly, the U.S. military industrial complex is a global scourge.

since the 1950s, korea has moved in two directions — the north under dictatorship and with closed borders, the south taking on an unofficial policy of americanness-as-aspirational that took the famine-ridden, poverty-stricken post-war country rapidly through development, military dictatorships and coups protested by demos led by university students and factory workers, its first real democratic elections in the 1980s, an introduction to the global stage via the 1988 summer olympics, financial failure in the IMF crisis in the late 1990s, to a massive success as the twelfth-largest economy in the world by the 2010s. korea today wields immense soft power through its cultural output, and korean brands are no longer laughed at but desired around the world.

today, korea is cool.


a few weeks ago, i read monika kim’s THE EYES ARE THE BEST PART (erewhon, 2024), a debut novel by a korean american author set in los angeles. the novel is told from the perspective of a korean american college student (with a younger sister) whose father leaves their family for his mistress, causing their mother to fall apart as she waits for him. eventually, their mother meets an older white dude and brings him home, and he’s as we, the reader, would expect of a toxic white male — sleezy, racist, entitled, deceitful, unfaithful. this portrayal gets under my skin because of how realistic kim is, leaning into the trope, sure, but not playing into hyperbole, but, as i read the novel, i found myself thinking more and more about how trope-y the book is and how it doesn’t really extend past that.

i believe that books should be in dialogue with other books and with culture at-large and that authors should be aware of their place in the greater ecosystem of writing. this was one of my key issues with r.f. kuang’s YELLOWFACE (william morrow, 2023) — setting aside serious issues with her lack of craft and weak writing, kuang tends to write books that are reactive to a specific “issue” she has chosen as her Theme for the current book at-hand. in THE POPPY WAR (harper voyager, 2018) it was east asian history and the scourge of white [missionary] imperialism. in BABEL (harper voyager, 2022), it was white imperialism and empire. in YELLOWFACE, kuang took on racism in publishing, except this book particularly ended up really laying bare her weaknesses as a writer, partly, in my opinion, because racism and publishing have both been in the discourse for many, many years. all YELLOWFACE does is regurgitate the same old shit people of color in the literary community have been yelling about long past the point our metaphorical throats are hoarse, though kuang does seem to braid in personal grievances she seems to have (i don’t believe at all that athena isn’t her).

kuang is a fast writer, which could be a strength in some ways but ends up being her fatal weakness as she never seems to have invested the time or energy to develop her craft. she’s dabbled in different genres, like fantasy and magic realism, but, because her writing is so reactive and fueled, it seems, by impulse and reliant upon inspiration, she never actually gives herself the time to dig into a genre and become a better writer, instead scaffolding skeletons of her worlds out of matchsticks for the purpose of getting a book out but failing to build them out in any meaningful way. THE POPPY WAR trilogy bypassed a lot of criticism, in my opinion, because the books are very propulsive and superficially enjoyable, but BABEL showed more holes (why are the silver bars magic?!), while YELLOWFACE exposed all its frayed edges — unless kuang slows down and actually invests the time and care to develop her craft, she’ll never pass this limitation.

my point, though, was — YELLOWFACE is about racism in publishing, sure, but it’s a bad faith book, in my opinion, because there’s a particular ego driving the center of the book instead of a more expansive perspective. fiction is weird in that it can (and should) have some kind of point-of-view, especially if there is a topic the author is trying to address, but there’s a fine line between that and moralizing, so i understand that there is a tricky balance to this. regardless, i think it’s fair to have a basic expectation that any writer should sit down with her craft.

that was a longer tangent than i initially intended, but what i wanted to say is that kim’s THE EYES ARE THE BEST PART has a similar problem when it comes to tropes and perspective. by this point in the zeitgeist, we know about the toxic white male. we know about him in the context of asian women, yellow fever, racism and misogyny. we know about his gross entitlement. we live and exist in the world.

kim doesn’t bring anything new to this discourse — her novel is basically about how the presence of two white men throws the korean american narrator’s life haywire. she’s already struggling with the effects of her father leaving, and now here are two white men — one, her mother’s new boyfriend, the other, a classmate in her philosophy courses at college — against whom her life ends up being defined. sure, the novel narratively tracks the arc of her getting rid of these two toxic figures in her life and allegedly regaining her agency, but, again, we’ve seen this story before. 

i admit that part of me was already disappointed because i was led to think that THE EYES ARE THE BEST PART was literary horror, but it isn’t, not really. there are some weird, horror-esque elements, sure, and there’s bloody violence involved, but i think this muddled lack-of-something  is another effect of leaning into a trope instead of developing a point-of-view.  the novel isn’t satirical, either, because satire requires a deeper commentary, in this case, about being a korean american woman in this world. kim simply presents her story as is, giving nothing beyond the surface level, and, as i closed the book and looked for my next read, i realized how tired i am of the specter of whiteness, of how we as korean americans cannot often seem to help but define ourselves against whiteness — and that is why all i have wanted to read this summer has been korean literature-in-translation.

americanness-as-aspirational has been built into korean culture since the postwar, intentionally so in several ways when korea was a poor, famine-ridden country with nothing, so it isn’t necessarily totally true to say that there is an absence of whiteness in korean literature. there’s a lot more chatter these days about decolonizing cultures of color from imperialism, but i think there are massive limits to that given how much whiteness (often via capitalism) has simply been built into the global world as desirable and unavoidable.

in such a world, i’m generally done with the tropes that have been deemed by the white establishment as “acceptable” for asian americans. we’re supposed to be ashamed of our culture, our food, our immigrant parents who can’t speak english without an accent. we’re supposed to have gone on some journey of rediscovery of our ethnic backgrounds now that’s it’s cool to be certain kinds of asian, while still accepting our role as the model minority. we’re supposed to be embarrassed if we can’t speak our ethnic languages, like many of us weren’t taught from young ages to eschew those very languages. there’s so little room for joy for asian americans in the western mainstream, just a lot of self-loathing and shame, and so little space for pride in who we are and where we come from, and i’m honestly over it.

whenever i talk about this, though, i feel the need to add the disclaimer that i know i got lucky in many ways, growing up bilingual and bicultural because my appa was stubborn and wanted his kids to know korean (though this only succeeded with me) and because i happened to fall into k-pop when i fell into pop culture in middle school. i was raised in suburban los angeles and attended schools where asians were technically a minority overall but the majority in honors/AP classes, and i spent my life at a korean church. the two facts together meant that my social circle was entirely asian; the only white person i interacted with regularly (other than my teachers at school) until i moved to brooklyn for law school was my flute teacher.

that doesn’t mean i have a perfect history with koreanness. i was disconnected from my culture starting in high school with body shaming, but even that was rooted in koreanness because i was held to korean beauty standards. that meant that the community whose approval and acceptance i wanted was korean, that the standards i held myself to, beauty or otherwise, were korean, that, to this day, the way i see myself primarily is as a korean. in general, despite the tremendous harm my own community and people meted upon me, i grew up fiercely proud of being korean, and you still can’t take that away from me today. i wish we could see more of this reflected in our stories instead of the internalized racism that continues to keep us chained to whiteness, whether we see that whiteness as toxic or not. i’m not saying that, partly as asian americans, we should deny that we live in a white world and pretend that racism, microaggressions, and white toxicity don’t exist and impact our daily existence, but it is one thing to acknowledge reality and a whole other thing to choose to perpetuate the narrative white media has decided to permit to us. we are so much more interesting and complex and fun than that.

and, so, all i’ve wanted to read this summer has been korean literature-in-translation, with some japanese lit-in-translation thrown in there. part of this is also tonal — i’m working on my second book, and there’s a certain tone i’m trying to pull through the prose that is inspired from what you find in literature specifically translated from korean and japanese. i struggle, still, to explain this adequately, and it isn’t a shortcoming of translation but a natural byproduct of flipping a language from one to another, especially two languages as different as korean and english. korean and english have different grammatical structures. korean is not nearly as dependent on pronouns or gender as english is. korean also allows for more room for long, poetic rambling, and korean also has more words for more concepts and feelings than exist in english.

so, here’s a bit about translated books i’ve been reading.

my favorite book this year has been cho yeeun’s NEW SEOUL PARK JELLY MASSACRE, translated by yewon jung (honford press, 2024), and i am obsessed with it. in my head, i still keep calling it new seoul jelly park, and i don’t really want to give away many details because it is a strange book, which, to me, is delightful. you just have to embrace the weird and lean into the fact that you won’t get clear answers, but there’s a lot of heart in this book, questions about love, family, and loneliness.

another favorite thus far has been kang hwagil’s ANOTHER PERSON, translated by clare richards (pushkin press, 2023) — and this also makes me ask why translators are not just, by default, being listed on the covers of their books,  here in the year 2024. ANOTHER PERSON is enraging — the novel hops around different characters, but it centers on jina, a twenty-something woman who has had to leave her job and retreat from society after she filed a claim against her ex-boyfriend (ex-coworker) for domestic violence. she’s been harassed at work and on the internet, even though he’s the one who physically assaulted her, and, as she hides away in her apartment, she comes across a tweet that sets off a particular memory of her college years and sends her down to her college town.

ANOTHER PERSON ultimately pulls back to tell us the story of three women who went to the same college and experienced sexual assault, each in different ways. what i particularly appreciated about the novel is that kang refuses to let the reader look away, not from the violence or from the ways men write off and dismiss violence against women (and, most of the time, rationalize it by blaming the victim)  or, even, most uniquely and importantly, from how internalized misogyny affects and harms women. one of the core problems with the misogynistic patriarchal world we live in, whether in the U.S. or in korea, is double-fold — that men are encouraged to be violent to get what they believe they are entitled to (the bodies of women) and that women are made to accept and internalize that abusive misogyny.

this is another novel i think has a great nonfiction pairing — hawon jung’s FLOWERS OF FIRE (benbella books, 2023), a nonfiction book that looks at the #metoo movement in korea and the gender, in general, in the last five to ten years. the chapters are super short, and jung’s writing is incredibly readable, imparting a lot of information in a digestible way, so the book goes fairly quickly. i highly recommend both.

one specific thing that has been delighting me about korean and japanese literature is structure. korean and japanese authors play with structure and form in really creative, thoughtful ways that we just don’t see in english-language fiction. like, hiroki kawakami’s UNDER THE EYE OF THE BIG BIRD, translated by asa yoneda (soft skull, 2024), which is another book i won’t say much about because i think you just need to read it — the way the stories unfold is incredible. 

kwon yeo-sun’s LEMON, translated by janet hong (other press, 2021), also plays with structure and narration, in this case to discuss the murder of a girl, hae-on, in high school. we never hear from hae-on as it has now been years since her unsolved murder, and, instead, the novel is told from three women who each knew hae-on in some way. this is another of those books that doesn’t have clear answers; it’s about a murder, yes; but it isn’t a murder mystery, which i think is totally clear from the start.

in my reading, i did also dip my toe into the world of cozy fiction, which is really not my thing at all. i was, however, very pleasantly surprised by hwang boreum’s WELCOME TO THE HYUNAM-DONG BOOKSHOP, translated by shanna tan (bloomsbury, 2024) — i read this at the end of last year, during a period of my life when i was feeling blue, and i found the book to be very warm, thoughtful, wise, a slice-of-life novel about a bookstore in a quiet neighborhood in seoul. HYUNAM-DONG asks questions of being a human in the rat race, and some of it is unique to life in hell joseon, but i think there’s universal wisdom to take about the value in slowing down and choosing to abstain from what society tells us is important, especially when those arbitrary markers of success suck us dry.

i liked HYUNAM-DONG so much, i also picked up lee miye’s THE DALLERGUT DREAM DEPARTMENT STORE, translated by sandy joosun lee (hanover square press, 2024). (i also wanted it because i love this UK cover; it makes me think of IU.) the world in DALLERGUT is lovely, but the novel ultimately fell very flat for me because all the characters are, well, flat, each clearly meant to play a specific part in the world, instead of being a three-dimensional, developed character. it didn’t surprise me to learn that lee is an engineer, which maybe is an unfair stereotypical statement for me to make, but i was very much impressed by the mechanisms behind the world in DALLERGUT. i just wish lee had spent as much time and care in fleshing out her characters and lingering more in the day-to-day — it was clear that lee wanted dallergut (the owner of the department store) to be this quirky, wise character and that the dreams she focuses on are meant to impart wisdom, but, because the book zips along too quickly and superficially, these potential moments of insight and poignanch feel heavy-handed instead. i do wish someone would make a drama out of DALLERGUT, though, because, again, the world itself is vibrant and colorful, and i think it would be really fun to watch. 

asako yuzuki’s BUTTER, translated by polly barton (ecco, 2024), and yoko ogawa’s MINA’S MATCHBOX, translated by stephen b. snyder (pantheon, 2024), were both quiet books, and i particularly enjoyed BUTTER, which ostensibly is the story of a journalist trying to get a murderess to talk. the murderess is in jail, and she’s all about food and luxury, and she sends the journalist essentially on missions to eat something and experience it in a specific way, but this isn’t tantalizing or sensational. BUTTER, instead, is a thoughtful book about loneliness, friendship, and, yes, the role food plays in our lives. 

two other quiet books i enjoyed were by kim hye-jin, CONCERNING MY DAUGHTER (restless books, 2022) and COUNSEL CULTURE (restless books, 2024), both translated by jamie chang. DAUGHTER, particularly, got to me — it’s narrated by an ajumma in her sixties who works at a senior care facility and has her life upended when her thirty-something-year-old daughter moves back in … with her female partner. the daughter is an adjunct professor who also attends protests demanding a more equal society for queer people, and the mother doesn’t understand any of this. the book isn’t an easy one to read; kim doesn’t try to make the mother a sympathetic character; but neither is she unfair. the mother is a product of her times, a woman who struggled to raise her daughter alone after her husband passed away, who grew up in very heteronormative korea, who just wants her daughter to live a stable, safe life, and there is deep poignancy and resonance in her struggle to understand her daughter. i appreciated kim’s realistic portrayal of this ajumma’s journey — she doesn’t reach the ending we might hope for, but CONCERNING MY DAUGHTER is a great depiction of how the journey is what matters, that we at least make the effort to see beyond the narrow scopes of our upbringing.

i did also quite like COUNSEL CULTURE, which is about a therapist who says something thoughtlessly about an actor on a TV program then is blamed, months later, for his death by suicide. she ends up divorced and jobless and gets drawn into a mission to trap an injured stray cat and find him a home, collaborating with a loneliness grade school student with divorced parents. the book is a thoughtful look at perception and the ways we have all cast ourselves as commentators thanks to the internet.

to shift gears,  kazuki kaneshiro’s GO, translated by takami nieda (amazon crossing, 2018), is an example of when exposition works in a novel. kaneshiro is a zainichi korean, and his YA novel builds off the story of a zainichi korean kid developing a romance with his japanese classmate to explore the complications of being a zainichi korean, which requires a fair amount of history background and explained social context — but kaneshiro manages to provide all this without feeling pedantic or taking us out of the story, which i think is a feat. i also enjoyed park soyoung’s SNOW GLOBE, translated by joungmin lee comfort (delacorte press, 2024), which takes place in a frozen dystopia and was a fun read that has quite a few twists that keep it from being predictable.

finally, paek nom-nyong’s FRIEND, translated by immanuel kim (columbia university press, 2020), was wildly informative, not so much because of anything it says explicitly about life in north korea but because of how much propaganda is implicitly in it. paek is a north korean author — like, he isn’t a refugee, and he hasn’t left north korea — he writes in the north. FRIEND was published in the north in 1988, then published in the south in 1992, so this isn’t a novel that wasn’t smuggled out.

the novel is incredibly readable despite feeling dated, and it follows a judge who has to decide upon an application for divorce that has landed on his desk. this isn’t unique in and of itself; people get divorced. the wife, in this case, is a singer, the husband a lathe operator at a factory. the wife also started as a factory worker, which is how they met, before she became a singer after they married, becoming something of a celebrity. they have a young son. she thinks they are not well-matched — she has grown and developed through their marriage, but her husband seems content as a mere lathe operator, ignoring her pleas to get a degree in engineering and absorbing her contempt as his attempted inventions amount to nothing.

the novel is meandering as the judge meets the couple and interacts with other couples, reflecting on those marriages as well as his own, and we drift along people’s memories as they look back on the early years of their marriages and think about the challenges they have faced along the way. it’s a pretty poignant, thoughtful book, obviously absent the tropes we see in the west when it comes to north korea, though it’s hard to say how much we should take from FRIEND about life in the north. i mean, there’s no way for us to know, and we do also have to consider that the book was published in north korea, maybe not a state-sanctioned novel but one that clearly was permitted publication, but, as i read this book, i hoped that there was some truth to it — and i did believe that there was some truth to the world paek presents  because north korea is an actual place with actual people, and, where there are people, even in isolated, repressive regimes, there is still love.

feel, process, work.

i have been struggling immensely with loneliness, with feeling alone in life, which which isn’t the same as feeling alone. this doesn’t mean that i have an absence of people in life — i have many good friends — but what i have wanted so badly for pretty much the entirety of my adult life has been someone to do life with.

the one thing i have consistently envied people is their people. like, i envy people their partners, their families, their people, the ones who are there to carry the daily humdrum of life, go to doctors’ appointments together, kill bugs for; i envy people who have someone to call on their way home and say, hey, i’m at the market, do we need anything? can i pick up dinner? i envy people who have a shoulder to cry on, someone to run errands with, and, on a more sentimental note, hope for and plan a future together. the older i get, the more i think that life is about the banalities, not the extraordinary, and i envy people the boring day-to-day, the lack of need to generate their own noise because there is someone there creating noise just by existing in the same space, the same life.

after my event in DC, i was so tired from stress and not getting enough sleep that i just wanted to go home, but i lay on that bed in a hotel room that felt weirdly damp and wondered why when there was no one waiting for me at home, just silence. what was there to go home to?

there are a few topics i don’t like to talk about with certain people.

i don’t talk about living with suicidal depression with people who don’t live with it, and i don’t like to talk about the pains of chronic singleness with partnered people. i find both experiences to be kind of like talking to white people about racism, ultimately frustrating, counterproductive, and alienating, regardless of how well-intentioned people may be, so i try to keep things to myself as much as i can, until my own feelings bubble over and become unmanageable, which does happen every so often.

for the most part, usually, i’m okay with life as is, able to keep chugging through with work.

dating is a complicated space for me. without really getting into it, i’ve never dated for two major reasons, the more significant one being the body shaming that started when i was a freshman in high school, that broke me down and left me in pieces as a human being, isolating from the world out of a paralyzing fear of judgement and rejection. it’s been a years-long process to break down the toxic messaging i internalized deeply through that decade of being shamed for my body, told that my worth and value were tied to my weight, and made to believe that no one would want to date me, be my friend, or, even, work with me until i could make myself skinny. attach to that that no one has told me that they liked me or were attracted to me, so my personal experience continues generally to prove this idea that i am unlikable and undesirable, so why bother? why care? why put in the effort of making myself painfully vulnerable and waste time and energy on dating?

and then there’s the second reason i don’t talk about publicly. i very rarely talk about it privately, too; i think i’ve only talked about this with maybe one or two friends.

and, so, life is lonely, but i have learned to live my life alone. over the last twenty years, i have learned to dine alone, go to movies alone, travel alone. there is freedom to this kind of life in that i am only beholden to myself and have immense flexibility in the decisions i make — i can very much sit in law school and try to move to korea once i have my JD to work for a company that does business in the U.S. without having to convince a partner to come with me. i can travel in the meandering way that i prefer without a schedule, eating what i want when i want and switching up plans last-minute as i so desire. before i started school and was working remotely, i could go to los angeles last-minute when my parents had health issues, to take them to appointments, cook them meals, and generally be around to assist as needed. there is tremendous freedom that i do appreciate about my solo life.

sure, sometimes, the pain of chronic solitude does become too much to bear, but, in general, i have figured out how to be alone. i lean on friends when i can, while being aware of the limits of friendship and trying not to be Too Much or a burden. i keep myself open to meeting someone, though i don’t actively waste time on dating apps or emotions on the effort of something that will come paired with tremendous pain and loss. i carry the awareness that being in a relationship isn’t going to be some magical fix without challenges and issues of its own, that it is important and valuable to be able to be happy and content with my own company, and i do make the daily effort to practice that contentment. 

some days are obviously easier than others,  and i do go through seasons as i have this summer when i acutely feel the pain of being alone in life. for the most part, though, i know that i am not alone-alone, that i have good people in my life, that my loneliness might be a constant companion but doesn’t define me. it is okay to feel how i do, and, yes, there are moments when i do let myself wallow and be miserable and sad, but i can have my moment, process the feelings, and keep going on with my life because, sure, i might not have a partner, but i do have a full life, though we could argue that it’s mostly full because of how much i work. where creative outlets like photography fit in the blurry space between work and hobby in my brain is up for debate.

(these were shot on my plastic camera with fujifilm 200.)

on yoongi and bad faith discourse.

the bad faith discourse around yoongi’s DUI incident has been actively pissing me off for days. bad faith discourse, in general, irritates the hell out of me, and i’ve been mulling over this for a few weeks because of two books that have come up in discussions, the first (euny hong’s THE BIRTH OF KOREAN COOL, 2014) because it was the july book for my korean history book clubs and the second (elise hu’s FLAWLESS, 2023) because it reminded me of the first.

the idea of bad faith and good faith is something i first came across in law school, and it’s one of the few things that stuck with me from 1L. faith, in this context, is intent — it is the underlying attitude, essentially, from which you approach a situation and form your argument. when it comes to writing, i think of faith as various things, but, in the case of these books, i’d describe them as the [seeming] impetus behind an author wanting to take on a topic and situate themself as some form of authority. it doesn’t have anything to do directly with the quality of the research or the writing, though i do think that it absolutely colors the end result that is the book — it’s difficult, in my opinion, to write a book in bad faith and end up with a book that merits discourse.

it is fair to say that both hong and hu did their due diligence for their books and there is informative value to them (speaking more for KOREAN COOL than FLAWLESS, though, as i couldn’t get past fifty pages of the latter). hong looks into korean culture at-large, presenting a history of korea’s investment in soft culture, from pop to dramas to video games, and providing a good explanation of han in my opinion, and hu tries to talk about korean beauty standards and the k-beauty industry and its effects on society (i think from my skimming of the book). both conduct interviews and do research. there is a fair amount of information in both books, but the thing is that they only dive so far and provide insight because this, i think, is where bad faith really rears its head — hong seems to come from a place of contempt for korean culture, and hu starts from a place of Othering spectacle. neither shows much respect for their topics, and what results are books that feel opportunistic, an attempt to jump on a moment in the zeitgeist and profit off them, whether financially or status-wise as journalistic authorities.

seizing a moment isn’t inherently good or bad. it isn’t a bad thing to be tuned into culture and hop on trend quickly; i often wish i was a faster thinker and writer so i could be more timely with my writing; but, when it’s done in bad faith, it means that the topic (and the culture) at hand doesn’t get the proper treatment it deserves. when you start from a place of wanting to capitalize on something, you can honestly go so far, and, ultimately, you do a massive disservice to the topic at hand — and the people and culture connected to it.


and, so, suga — there’s been a lot of bad faith discourse whizzing around the internet, from the sides of the fandom, anti-fandom, supposed regular people who aren’t bangtan fans or anti-fans and allegedly have no skin in the game. (and the media — good lord, there is so much bad faith journalism in both korea and the west right now.) there’s a lot of hypotheticals about how someone could have gotten hurt, a lot of accusations of bighit and yoongi lying, a lot of histrionic calls for yoongi to leave bangtan and so many bad faith comparisons being made to other celebrities who have had DUIs, never mind the fact that there are many differences between, say, kim saeron or shin hyesung’s cases and yoongi’s. there’s a general unwillingness to think critically and inability to hold multiple things to be true and a general lack of grace, spurred entirely by the fact that yoongi is part of bangtan and therefore should be made an example of (never mind that all of bangtan is in gundae because the korean government likely wanted to set a precedent with them). there is a lot of bad faith discourse exploiting the fact that, yes, DUIs are serious offenses and should be taken seriously to take advantage of a rare bangtan scandal and make a sensation of something that is being sorted out by the police.

(this doesn’t even touch on all the irresponsible media reporting that has led to a lot of confusion because of so many corrections that are being issued as apparently no one can wait to write about this until after everything has been confirmed. this is the most egregious act of bad faith.)

multiple things can be true at the same time. yoongi made a mistake in getting on an electric scooter after drinking. he reasonably could have thought that an electric scooter didn’t fall under the same laws as a car. he got lucky that he didn’t get into an accident and that no one got hurt. he is facing the consequences; his license has been suspended, he will likely have to pay a fine, and his reputation is in the gutter. both he and bighit were too hasty with their statements in their apparent eagerness to get ahead of the media (and they should either get a better legal team or listen to their legal team), and he could have tried to underplay how much alcohol he had consumed, which is not great behavior (if true) but is also human. korean drinking culture is toxic; this isn’t some kind of surprise. this is his first offense.

i believe that there is a particular arrogance to korean celebrities who commit three specific acts: (1) drinking and driving, (2) doing drugs, and (3) evading military service — and, to tack on an unofficial fourth, on a slightly minor level, gambling. these are acts koreans know will be most likely to end their careers (there are many examples in the industry of this being the case), so there’s a specific hubris behind this behavior. it’s also incredibly selfish to drive under the influence because it’s not only your life you’re playing with but the lives of strangers, and i’ve seen firsthand what driving under the influence can do — one of my parents’ church friends has a niece who did the stupid thing of driving home after drinking in koreatown and rear-ending a SUV so badly that two teenagers were killed. i do not take driving under the influence lightly.

my thing with yoongi’s situation, though, is that (1) he wasn’t driving a car, (2) no one got hurt, and (3) this is his first offense. i know that he still could have potentially hurt someone with a scooter, but a scooter still is not the same as a car and has a much lower possibility of meting out comparable damage. i would also argue that it isn’t necessarily common sense to assume that DUI laws apply to an electric scooter; i certainly learned through this incident that that is indeed the case in korea; so there is room for reasonable human error here. to add to that, he didn’t hurt someone, so i don’t see the point in shouting about what could have happened, especially when a hypothetical situation shouldn’t (and legally likely does not) factor into whatever punishment he receives. 

i also don’t agree with people’s reactions over his alleged BAC level of 0.227 and using that to determine that yoongi is a raging alcoholic who got blackout drunk. yes, if true, it is high. no, i don’t think it’s great, and, regardless of what his BAC level actually was, i am still generally concerned about korean drinking culture and people who drink regularly/heavily. (i do drink but rarely, and i have never been entertained by stories that begin with “omg i was sooooo drunk” but rather find them kind of pitiful.) i also have the common sense to recognize that alcohol hits everyone differently, that everyone reacts to alcohol differently, that one reported [alleged] BAC level isn’t sufficient to diagnose someone as an alcoholic or assume that he was blackout drunk. there are so many bad faith accusations and assumptions being thrown about, and i wish everyone would watch the try guys video where they all drink the same amounts and take field sobriety tests. eugene at the end of the night is nowhere like zach halfway through, and, to be very explicitly clear, i don’t think anyone should drive after drinking — the point i want to make is that you cannot judge one person’s capacity for alcohol as the same as another’s because there are so many factors that go into how your body metabolizes alcohol.

also, showing grace to someone isn’t the same as wanting them to get off without consequences. given that he broke the law, yoongi should have his license suspended, and he should be fined. none of this is for the public to decide, though — bighit at least was clear in their initial statement that his license had already been suspended, so it’s not like either the company or yoongi is trying to slither out or consequences. the law will deal with that.

grace, though, is not destroying him personally and professionally over a first offense where no one got hurt and letting him have the room to be human and learn from this and not make the same mistake twice — because people can learn and change. case in point: ever since harris announced tim walz as her VP pick, people on the opposing side have been actively trying to tear walz down. one of the things that has surfaced again is walz’s arrest in 1995 for reckless driving, when he was pulled over for speeding then put through a field sobriety test, which he failed. republicans have been trying to use this as some kind of indictment of his character, except the thing is that, yes, walz did drive under the influence, he did go to jail, and he learned from the experience and has chosen not to drink since.

instead of demonizing yoongi for what could have happened, maybe the grace is to acknowledge that, yes, he got lucky, and he will pay whatever consequences korean law determines, and hopefully he will not do this again — and that is all the public needs to express. if he does this again, if he were to drink and get behind the wheel of a car, that would be a very different conversation, but, right now, that’s a hypothetical conversation. it is not relevant to now for the simple fact that it hasn’t happened. in general, i find the discourse around this situation to be in bad faith, fairly disingenuous with a lot of eagerness, whether intentional or subconscious, to dump on a public figure, and this netizen impulse to destroy people so recklessly and thoughtlessly behind the safety of our phone and computer screens doesn’t really reflect well on where we are as a society.


the thing i dislike about bad faith discourse (and bad faith writing) is that it ultimately plays to the lesser parts of humanness. bad faith wants to elicit a particular response, one that’s grounded in spectating and disregards more critical thinking and a more expansive perspective.

when you start from a point of dislike and contempt, you can’t have respect for your subject and, therefore, give it more than a superficial glance. when you start from a point of spectacle, you can only regard your subject as the Other, as something to be exoticized and ogled, set apart and made freakish. when you start from a point of self-righteousness, you dehumanize your subject and forget that there is a real person on the other side. bad faith invites us to look down on and condescend to, playing on our worse instincts, instead of inviting us to be more open-minded, to see other people and other cultures as layered, complex entities with humanity that is equal to ours.

bad faith discourages us from being better people.

we live in incredibly dark, shitty times, and i find myself with less and less patience for bad faith discourse. we already see it so much in our papers of record, in their incredibly disingenuous, harmful reporting on the ongoing genocide of palestinians, the 2024 U.S. election, trans rights to name a few examples, and it’s so disheartening to see how it’s become so normalized, how people simply consume what they are given and accept it without thinking critically about the propaganda being stuffed down our throats. we don’t need more bad faith shit; we need more grace.

i’m sure yoongi’s situation will be resolved even as media reports regarding it are still changing and netizens are still being netizens. i know he doesn’t need me to worry about him — he’s got the wealth and fame to insulate him — and it isn’t even that i’m necessarily worried (i don’t know him; who am i to worry about him?), but more that, like i said, i’m annoyed. bad faith discourse sets my teeth on edge.


editing to add: i personally didn’t have an issue with the memes from fans because (1) he wasn’t driving a car and (2) he hadn’t gotten into an accident and no injuries had been reported. those facts have yet to be contested, and there is something darkly comical over the situation — he was riding an electric scooter. and he fell over. like, of all the scandals to get into, this is kind of on the ridiculous end of things, made humorous because of the two pre-existing facts.

had yoongi been behind the wheel of the car or had he injured someone while on the scooter (or, also, had this not been his first offense), the humor would be incredibly tone deaf and out of place, and it would be fair for netizens to be calling out fans for their cat memes and jokes. that’s another hypothetical situation, though, and i think it’s in bad faith to pile on fans for not taking things seriously when the situation is what it is and yoongi is facing the consequences — and, as far as i know, no one’s calling for him to be let off easy.