2015 reading: here are some numbers.

this is why i like the end of the year.  >:3

in 2015, i read 68 books*, and here are my top 7 from those 68 (in no particular order) (or, rather, in the order i posted them on instagram, which was in no particular order).

2015-7.jpg
  1. helen macdonald, h is for hawk (jonathan cape, 2014)
  2. alex mar, witches of america (FSG, 2015)
  3. patricia park, re jane (viking, 2015)
  4. rebecca solnit, the faraway nearby (penguin, 2014, paperback)
  5. jonathan franzen, purity (FSG, 2015)
  6. han kang, human acts (portobello, 2016)
  7. robert s. boynton, the invitation-only zone (FSG, forthcoming 2016)

(you can find quotes and reasons why i chose these 7 on my instagram.)

* as of this posting time.  i still have two days to read more!


in 2015, i went to 38 book events and readings, and here are 10 i particularly enjoyed.

2015-events.jpg
  1. marie mutsuki mockett and emily st. john mandel with ken chen at AAWW
  2. michael cunningham at columbia
  3. meghan daum with glenn kurtz at mcnally jackson
  4. kazuo ishiguro and caryl phillips at the 92Y
  5. aleksandar hemon with sean macdonald at mcnally jackson
  6. alexandra kleeman and patricia park with anelise chen at AAWW
  7. lauren groff at bookcourt
  8. jonathan franzen with wyatt mason at st. joseph's college
  9. patti smith with david remnick at the new yorker festival
  10. alex mar with leslie jamison at housingworks bookstore

(both franzen events had no-photo policies.)


in 2015, i took 34 photos of books with pie.  mind you, this is not the number of times i ate pie.  this is simply the number of times i went to eat pie and decided to photograph it with the book i was reading at the time.  and by pie, i mean pie from four and twenty blackbirds because their pie is delicious and not too sweet and totally worth going to gowanus for (so, if you're in nyc, go get some!).

here are 5 photos of books with pie because it would be unnecessarily mean of me to torture you with all 34 slices of amazing pie, wouldn't it?

2015-pie.jpg

in 2015, i took 38 photos of books with stitch.

i suppose, to provide some context:  i love stitch.  lilo and stitch is one of my favorite movies (we're talking top 3 here).  i've had this stitch for 13 years.  i still shamelessly take him with me everywhere (he's in california with me right now).  obviously, he popped up every now and then with a book.

here are 5 photos of books with stitch.  i'm totally choosing how many photos to post arbitrarily (in multiples of 5, though, so maybe not so arbitrarily?).

2015-stitch.jpg

in 2015, my book club started, and we read 10 books.  we've now eased into a routine of meeting at my friend's apartment and having a potluck, but we were absent this routine the first two times we met, hence the three out-of-place photos.  i know; it's making me a little twitchy, too; but we'll have 12 consistent flat-lays from 2016!

2015-bookclub.jpg
  1. marilynne robinson, lila (FSG, 2014)
  2. alice munro, the beggar maid (vintage, 1991) (first published 1977)
  3. kazuo ishiguro, an artist of the floating world (vintage,1989) (first published 1986)
  4. margaret atwood, the stone mattress (nan a. talese, 2014)
  5. jeffrey eugenides, the virgin suicides (picador, 2009) (first published 1993)
  6. ta-nehisi coates, between the world and me (random house, 2015)
  7. virginia woolf, mrs. dalloway (vintage, 1992) (first published 1925)
  8. michael cunningham, the hours (FSG, 1998)
  9. nikolai gogol, the complete tales (vintage, 1999)
  10. nathaniel hawthorne, short stories (vintage, 1955)

(we combined two months, so i didn't have 10 photos, so i included the nachos i ate when we met to discuss munro's the beggar maid.)


in 2015, i became much more brutal with dropping books because life is too short for books that simply don't hold your interest.  i intentionally dropped 13 books.

2015-dnf.jpg
  1. claire messud, the woman upstairs (knopf, 2013):  so. boring. nothing. happens.
  2. cheryl strayed, tiny beautiful things (vintage, 2012):  i started reading this in earnest, but then i skimmed it with a friend, and then i never went back to it.  strayed’s columns are generally hit or miss for me.
  3. atul gawande, being mortal (metropolitan books, 2014):  this wasn’t what i was expecting it to be ... though i’m also not entirely sure what i was expecting it to be.  i think i was expecting more profundity, and i wasn’t taken by the writing.
  4. renee ahdieh, the wrath and the dawn (putnam, 2015):  omg, the sheer amount of adverbs in this made me want to throttle the book.  i always read with a pencil to mark passages i like or to jot down thoughts, but i read this with a pencil to cross out all the adverbs and circle all the different variations of “said” --  i want to ban her from using a thesaurus ever again.  and limit how many adverbs she's allowed to use.
  5. rebecca mead, my life in middlemarch (crown, 2014):  i really liked what i read of this, but i finished middlemarch and didn’t like that that much, so i never did finish the mead.
  6. rabih alameddine, an unnecessary woman (grove, 2014):  i just stopped reading this -- like, i put it down for the day and kind of forgot i’d ever started reading it, which was weird because i started reading it on oyster books and liked it enough that i bought the paperback … and then i never went back to it and probably never will.
  7. ta-nehisi coates, between the world and me (random house, 2015):  i know; i’m horrible for dropping this; but i did.  i never finished reading it for book club, and i didn’t finish it after book club and have no inclination to pick it up again.
  8. jesse ball, a cure for suicide (pantheon, 2015):  this tried too hard to be … whatever the hell it is.
  9. virginia woolf, mrs. dalloway (vintage, 1992):  ugh.  i'm sorry, michael cunningham, but UGH.
  10. emile zola, thêrèse raquin (penguin, 2010):  given the plot, this is going to sound bizarre, but i was bored to death with this.  it was so predictable.
  11. philip weinstein, jonathan franzen (bloomsbury, 2015):  given my unabashed, vocal love for franzen, you’d think i’d be all over this, but, as it turns out -- and i say this in the most non-creepy way possible -- i know way too much about franzen’s bio already.  also, my brain kept going off in all sorts of directions because it’s already full with my own critical analyses of franzen, and weinstein’s writing is very flat.  one day, i'll write about franzen.
  12. shirley jackson, we have always lived in the castle (penguin, 2006):  so. boring. nothing. happens.
  13. nathaniel hawthorne, short stories (vintage classics, 2011):  (no comment.)

in 2015, i took a lot of photos of books with food, and i am not going to count them all.  here are 5 i randomly chose so that i'd have 7 "in 2015"s instead of 6.

2015-food.jpg

and that's all, folks!  stay tuned for my year-end recap coming ... at some point in the next two weeks.  >:3  happy new year!

2014 reading review!

huzzah!  2014!  even though we're 18 days into the new year -- 18 days ain't that bad!  all right, jumping right into it!

the one that was the overall favorite:  everything i never told you, celeste ng (the penguin press, 2014)

how had it begun?  like everything:  with mothers and fathers.  because of lydia’s mother and father, because of her mother’s and father’s mothers and fathers.  because long ago, her mother had gone missing, and her father had brought her home.  because more than anything, her mother had wanted to stand out; because more than anything, her father had wanted to blend in.  because those things had been impossible.  (25)

what an incredible debut.  we start with the death of sixteen-year-old lydia in 1970s ohio, and ng gracefully pulls back the layers of both the aftermath of her death and also the life leading up to her death, answering the questions of what happened, how she died, and why.  ng does a masterful job of diving into lydia and her family, exploring their relationships and dynamics, the ways that family fucks us up but holds onto us at the same time, and it’s wonderfully complex, this novel, a compact story that gets you in the heart and burrows under your skin.

ng also writes about being asian-american without explicitly writing about being asian american, weaving it into her narrative and characterization without calling blaring attention to it.  she writes about the prejudices against asian men, against women in the hard sciences, against interracial marriage and interracial children, and she does it deftly and beautifully and fearlessly, navigating the complicated web of family and its disappointments and secrets and fears, the ways we sometimes try to run away and disown the places we come from, only to find ourselves coming back against our will.  

maybe part of me loved this because it resounded so personally for me.  i read a comment from someone who didn’t like how ng wrote the parents, but the parents were so real and human to me with their burdensome expectations and their disappointments and their narrow perceptions, their inability to see how they were inflicting damage and harm on their children.  and this isn’t to say that parents are the only ones who do wrong because children do, too, because children are also living human beings with expectations and disappointments and narrow perceptions — and i loved this, too, about everything i never told you, that there’s a balance to this narrative, that ng isn’t out to demonize or condemn anyone but is simply telling a story, and it’s a beautiful, heart-breaking story, described pithily by the new york times as “a novel about the burden of being the first of your kind — a burden you do not always survive.”

 

the ones with the “theme:”  on such a full sea, chang-rae lee (riverhead, 2014); california, edan lepucki (little, brown, 2014); station eleven, emily st. john mandel (knopf, 2014)

he was the impetus, yes, the veritable without which, but not the whole story.  one person or thing can never comprise that, no matter ho much one is cherished, no matter how much one is loved.  a tale, like the universe, they ell us, expands ceaselessly each time you examine it, until there’s finally no telling exactly where it begins, or ends, or where it places you now.  (on such a full sea, 61)

&

even naïveté could have a purpose.  it was a survival skill, the same one that made a woman forget the pain of childbirth soon after it happened, so that she’d be willing to do it again someday.  the species had to continue, didn’t it?  (california, 107)

&

“you were the one i wanted to call,” he said, “when i got the news.”

“but why me?  we haven’t spoken since the last divorce hearing.”

“you know where i’m from,” he said, and she understood what he meant by this.  once we lived on an island in the ocean.  once we took the ferry to go to high school, and at night the sky was brilliant in the absence of all these city lights.  once we paddled canoes to the lighthouse to look at petroglyphs and fished for salmon and walked through deep forests, but all of this was completely unremarkable because everyone else we knew did these things too, and here in these lives we’ve built for ourselves, here in these hard and glittering cities, none of this would seem real if it wasn’t for you.  (station eleven, 207)

okay, yes, “technically,” on such a full sea is considered dystopian and california and station eleven are post-apocalyptic, but, whatever, are we quibbling about genres here?  when i was reading california, i kept thinking about on such a full sea, and, when i was reading station eleven, i thought about on such a full sea and california and how survival really isn’t sufficient, how we’re naturally drawn to community and family, how the world could go to shit and take with it all the comforts and privileges we once knew and how we can live without all that and adapt but we still need other people.

but, then, there’s the other side of it, too:  how the world going to shit brings out the ugliness in people, how the will to survive reinforces the us v. theme mentality, how we need something to believe in and how charismatic cult leaders will apparently always exist and prey on young, virginal women because … because idk, yey, patriarchy?  (-__-)

i liked on such a full sea for its communities, whether on the large scale of the narrative “we” or in smaller, person-to-person depictions, like quig and fan or the girls in the room, and i liked its commentary on privilege and competition and the things we’re willing to sacrifice for privilege.  i liked california for its portrait of a marriage, the secrets we keep from each other, and the compromises we’re willing to make for something better.  i liked station eleven for unspooling the symphony’s theme (taken from star trek), that “survival is insufficient,” because it’s true — we can’t simply sit around and survive; we need to make human connections, live lives of purpose, have some kind of hope that lets us know that life is more than this, it’s more than just us, it has meaning beyond mere existence.

and i liked reading these three books over the course of the year (on such a full sea in january, california in july, station eleven in november) because there was a fun, unintended continuity to it.  

 

the one that haunted me:  drifting house, krys lee (viking, 2012)

another time, gilho came home and found wuseong asleep, curled up on the hardwood floor without a pillow or blanket, and no yo underneath him, and when gilho woke him  up, the boy looked straight at him and said, “everywhere i go, a road,” before falling immediately back to sleep.  the line reminded gilho that he had, finally, lacked the courage to trust the person he had wanted to be; he walked away to recover from vertigo.  when he spoke of the boy’s strangeness to soonah on the phone, she said reasonably (she was always reasonable), “why don’t you find another tenant?”

gilho could only wonder.  in a country where a university degree made you respectable, the boy had dropped out because he wasn’t being taught anything.  he had thespian ambitions; he raised crippled animals for fun.  his idealism couldn’t last.  but what might have happened if gilho had not married and scrambled to provide soonah the life that she and her parents, that everyone, expected, if he had not been so susceptible to her fear or risk, of failure, of others’ eyes, all fears that were his own? (80-1)

drifting house is a compact, intense collection about koreans and kprean-americans and a lot of the struggles that modern koreans/korean-americans face, whether it’s domestic violence or fanatic religion or goose fathers (fathers who send their wives and children to the states while they stay behind in korea and send them money) or the IMF crisis — and i’m aware that issues like domestic violence or fanatic religion aren’t unique to modern koreans/korean-americans, but lee approaches them from the korea/korean-american angle, keeping one foot impressively in korea and another in korean america.

you don’t have to know much about postwar korea to read the stories, but i think the book makes for an interesting launching point into postwar and contemporary korea.  korea’s changed so much and so rapidly since the war, and lee burrows into the impact that’s had on postwar society/culture with quiet intensity.  she isn’t a loud, brash writer; her prose fits with how she speaks and carries herself; and there’s a lot of darkness lurking underneath the surface of her very polished prose.

i can’t wait for her novel to come out.  i hope it’s published soon.  like soon soon.  please?

 

the one that was most impressive:  a silent history, eli horiwitz, matthew derby, kevin moffett (FSG originals, 2014)

my daughter was who she was not because of anything i did or didn’t do but because she was part of me and part of mel.  everything that could’ve been done had already been done.  by the time our kids are born, the fire is already lit.  all we are doing as parents is helping them find the kindling.  (theodore greene, 507)

there are 27 narrators who carry this book.  27 first-person narrators giving their “testimonies.”  and, yes, this was co-authored by (or created by?  I’m not quite sure how it all breaks down) 3 people, but, even so, even if you were to divide 27 first-person narrators by 3 people, that’s still 9 narrators per co-author.  the voices are generally distinct and individual (admittedly, some less so than others, but the book is an overall successful attempt at multiple voices), and, together, these testimonies come together to tell a cohesive, nuanced, forward-moving story, rich with very prescient commentary about how we treat people who are different from us, how we Other them and create these us v. them distinctions like anything in life is so black and white.

 

the one everyone should read:  men explain things to me, rebecca solnit (haymarket books, 2014)

because:

most women fight wars on two fronts, one for whatever the putative topic is and one simply for the right to speak, to have ideas, to be acknowledged to be in possession of facts and truths, to have value, to be a human being.  things have gotten better, but this war won’t end in my lifetime.  i’m still fighting it, for myself certainly, but also for all those younger women who have something to say, in the hope that they will get to say it.  (“men explain things to me,” 10-1)

&

we have far more than eighty-seven thousand rapes in this country every year, but each of them is invariably portrayed as an isolated incident.  we have dots so close they’re splatters melting into a stain, but hardly anyone connects them, or names that stain.  in india they did.  they said that this is a civil rights issue, it’s a human rights issue, it’s everyone’s problem, it’s not isolated, and it’s never going to be acceptable again.  it has to change.  it’s your job to change it, and mine, and ours.  (“the longest war,” 38)

&

the new york times reported it this way:  “as the impact of mr. strauss-kahn’s predicament hit home, others, including some in the news media, began to reveal accounts, long suppressed or anonymous, of what they called mr. strauss-kahn’s previously predatory behavior toward women and his aggressive sexual pursuit of them, from students and journalists to subordinates.”

in other words, he created an atmosphere that was uncomfortable or dangerous for women, which would be one thing if he were working in, say, a small office.  but that a man who controls some part of the fate of the world apparently devoted his energies to generating fear, misery, and injustice around him says something about the shape of our world and the values of the nations and institutions that tolerated his behavior and that of men like him.  (“worlds collide in a luxury suite,” 46-7)

&

and the casual sexism is always there to rein us in, too:  a wall street journal editorial blaming fatherless children on mothers throws out the term “female careerism.”  salon writer amanda marcotte notes, “incidentally, if you google ‘female careerism,’ you get a bunch of links, but if you google ‘male careerism,’ google asks if you really meant ‘male careers’ or even ‘male careers.’  ‘careerism’ — the pathological need to have paid employment — is an affliction that only affects women, apparently.”

then there are all the tabloids patrolling the bodies and private lives of celebrity women and finding constant fault with them for being too fat, too thin, too sexy, not sexy enough, too single, not yet breeding, missing the chance to breed, having bred but failing to nurture adequately — and always assuming that each one’s ambition is not to be a great actress or singer or voice for liberty or adventurer but a wife and mother.  get back in the box, famous ladies.  (the fashion and women’s magazines devote a lot of their space to telling you how to pursue those goals yourself, or how to appreciate your shortcomings in relation to them.)  (“pandora’s box and the volunteer police force,” 118-9)

 

the one that was most beautiful:  the southern reach trilogy, jeff vandermeer (FSG originals, 2014)

there’s a regret in you, a kind of day mark you’ve let become obscured.  the expeditions are never told that people had lived here, worked here, got drunk here, and played music here.  people who lived in mobile homes and bungalows and lighthouses.  better not to think of people living here, of it being empty … and yet now you want someone to remember, to understand what was lost, even if it was little enough.  (acceptance, 90)

if you want to talk about books as objects [of art], then you have to talk about the southern reach trilogy.  or area x.  i think i just titled it the southern reach trilogy because that’s how i think about it … but, anyway, hardcover, softcover, both are beautifully and thoughtfully designed, from the cover design to the illustrations to the layouts — and one thing i love about the paperbacks is how consistent they are.  like, they even illustrated vandermeer’s author photo!

i appreciate well-designed books.  i appreciate well-designed books that also have well-designed layouts even more because it’s a peeve of mine to come upon a beautiful jacket only to open the book and go, what the fuck???   i appreciate well-designed books that have managed to capture the essence of the book and convey some of its personality without being reductive or cliche or obscure.  and i appreciate well-designed books all the more because i can imagine what a difficult task that must be, how much [implicit or explicit] pressure there is on the jacket because it usually is the first impression, that first look to seize a potential reader’s interest.

and i appreciate them even more in instances like this because it was the cover that made me first pick up annihilation.

(i also appreciate social media in this case, too; bravo, FSG’s twitter.)

the paperback covers for annihilation, authority, and acceptance are incredible.  they capture the wildness of area x, conveying the weirdness contained in these books, but they’re also beautiful and alluring and shiny (literally).  there’s an aggressive quality to the covers, too, a boldness conveyed in the lettering, and the way the illustrations wrap around the letters show how the wildness encroaches and takes over  — and, okay, yes, maybe i’m sitting here over-analyzing covers, but, holy crap, these are beautifully designed books, and, no, i’m still not over them.

 

the one that was the non-fiction … something:  without you, there is no us, suki kim (crown, 2014)

was this really conscionable?  awakening my students to what was not in the regime’s program could mean death for them and those they loved.  if they were to wake up and realize that the outside world was in fact not crumbling, that it was their country that was in danger of collapse, and that everything they had been taught about the great leader was bogus, would that make them happier?  how would they live from that point on?  awakening was a luxury available only to those in the free world.  (70)

suki kim spent six months as a writer disguised as a christian disguised as a professor at PUST, pyongyang university of science and technology, and this is the book that recounts her experience there.  i think it’s important (and crucial) to keep in mind that these are her experiences and her observations; this book is a memoir of her time as a professor at PUST; and, as such, it does make for an interesting read.

at the same time, though, i find the book a little shallow, maybe especially when i start thinking about it as a book about north korea.  kim does succeed in “humanizing” (as the word goes) her north korean students, and there is a fair amount of affection there, but, sometimes, it feels too pitying.  she pokes at her colleagues’ faith but does so without any sort of depth, with only the derisive dismissal of someone who doesn’t share that faith and looks down on it.  she references a lover back home in new york, but there’s also nothing more there, almost like she just wants us to know that she has a lover, he’s back home, and, for some reason, that’s something we need to know.

kim’s been criticized for her memoir, for supposedly breaking promises with PUST by writing her book, and she’s written in response to said criticism.  i don’t disagree with the heart of what she’s saying, that there is a need to humanize north koreans, that silence is what is unacceptable, that there is so much wrong going on in north korea that needs to be talked about openly and — i’d even go so far as to say — that there’s a lot of terrible representation of north koreans that’s stereotypical and/or reductive and/or lacking in empathy and understanding.  and i can even understand her suspicion of the evangelical christians who funded the building of PUST and are sending in teachers and professors who could essentially be missionaries, but, to be honest, i think i’d be more convinced of her argument had she fleshed out any criticisms in her memoir.  instead, she makes a few jabs at her believing colleagues, tries to draw parallels between their faith and juche ideology, but, in the end, she doesn’t say much more than that — and this, particularly, frustrated me because there’s so much there to mine, and she starts to head in that direction at one point but drops it.

in the end, i do recommend without you and find it worth a read, but do keep in mind that it’s a memoir and supplement your reading with other books like barbara demick’s incredible nothing to envy or jang jin-sung’s dear leader.

 

the one i enjoyed most:  mr. penumbra’s 24-hour bookstore, robin sloan (FSG, 2012)

you know, i’m really starting to think the whole world is just a patchwork quilt of crazy little cults, all with their own secret spaces, their own records, their own rules.  (253)

&

there is no immortality that is not built on friendship and work done with care.  all the secrets in the world worth knowing are hiding in plain sight.  it takes forty=one seconds to climb a ladder three stories tall.  it’s not easy to imagine the year 3012, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.  we have new capabilities now — strange powers we’re still getting used to.  the mountains are a message from aldrag the wyrm-father.  your life must be an open city, with all sorts of ways to wander in.  (288)

mr. penumbra’s 24-hour bookstore was so much fun.  the narrator (clay) finds work at a mysterious bookstore with mysterious clientele who come in to check out giant tomes written in code, and he gets drawn into a quest when the owner of the bookstore (mr. penumbra) vanishes one day.  and, yes, i’m a really shitty summary writer, so don’t let that put you off — penumbra is well worth the adventure; you’ll laugh; you’ll aww; you’ll tear up; you’ll marvel at the ease with which sloan situates his novel in the world and integrates google almost as a character of its own.

and, if you (for some reason) need more incentive to read penumbra, the cover glows in the dark.

 

the one i didn’t finish:  nobody is ever missing, catherine lacey (FSG originals, 2014)

i rarely drop books.  i don’t like dropping books.  i tried really hard not to drop this, especially because i’d been looking forward to it, but i just could not stand the narrator.  i found her so wholly unsympathetic, and i hated being inside her head.  i also couldn’t get past the prose — lacey tends toward very long, rambly paragraph-sentences, and, while i love my long, rambly paragraph-sentences, there are just too many of them in nobody is ever missing that my writing brain kept growling, edit, for fuck’s sake, EDIT.

 

the one i listened to:  the discomfort zone, jonathan franzen (FSG [hardcover], 2006; highbridge [audio], 2006)

“but kafka’s about your life!” avery said.  “not to take anything away from your admiration of rilke, but i’ll tell you right now, kafka’s a lot more about your life than rilke is.  kafka was like us.  all of these writers, they were human beings trying to make sense of their lives.  but kafka above all!  kafka was afraid of death, he had problems with sex, he had problems with women, he had problems with his job, he had problems with his parents.  and he was writing fiction to try to figure these things out.  that’s what this book is about.  that’s what all of these books are about.  actual living human being trying to make sense of death and the modern world and the mess of their lives.”  (“the foreign language,” 139-40)

audiobooks, i’ve discovered, are perfect for planes.  i can put on my headphones and disappear into a book without the headache that comes from reading on planes in that terrible lighting and through occasional turbulence.  

the discomfort zone was fun to listen to because i’ve read it previously (twice).  the material, therefore, was all familiar to me, and there were no surprises as far as content was concerned, so it was the tone, really, that made it a different experience, especially because franzen narrated it himself.  it felt like a way of “reading” the book as he’d written it to be read, with the emphases in the right places and the proper tone and moods in the right places, and it was fun because it was like being read to, and i enjoy being read to.  being on plane helped, too, because i couldn’t do my usual thing of doing something with my hands (i can’t just watch tv or see movies or talk on the phone; i have to be doing something else at the same time), so i could just put on my headphones and close my eyes and focus on franzen’s narration.

which wasn’t a hard thing to do.  i could listen to franzen read anything, even the phone book.  he has a lovely deep and throaty voice, and he’s one of those authors who reads well (not all authors read well), so i wish he’d narrate more of his work.

 

the one with my favorite passage:  without you, there is no us, suki kim (crown, 2014)

this passage gets me in the heart every time.  i’d even go so far as to say that it predisposed me kindly to the rest of the memoir:

the korean war lasted three years, with millions either dead or separated.  it never really ended but instead paused in the 1953 armistice exactly where it began, with koreas on both sides of the 38th parallel.  historians often refer to it as the “forgotten war,” but no korean considers it forgotten.  theirs is not a culture of forgetting.  the war is everywhere in today’s koreas.

there is, for example, the story of my father’s young female cousins, nursing students aged seventeen and eighteen, who disappeared during the war.  decades later, in the 1970s, their mother, my father’s aunt, received a letter from north korea via japan, the only contact her daughters ever made with her, and from that moment on, she was summoned to the korean central intelligence agency every few months on suspicion of espionage until she finally left south korea for good and died in st. antonio, texas.  the girls were never heard from again.  and there was my uncle, my mother’s brother, who was just seventeen when he was abducted by north korean soldiers at the start of the war, in june 1950.  he was never seen again.  he might or might not have been taken to pyongyang, and it was this suspended state of not knowing that drove my mother’s mother nearly crazy, and my mother, and to some degree me, who inherited their sorrow.

stories such as these abound in south korea, and probably north korea, if its people were allowed to tell them.  separation haunts the affected long after the actual incident.  it is a perpetual act of violation.  you know that the missing are there, just a few hours away, but you cannot see them or write to them or call them.  it could be your mother trapped on the other side of the border.  it could be your lover whom you will long for the rest of your life.  it could be your child whom you cannot get to, although he calls out your name and cries himself to sleep every night.  from seoul, pyongyang looms like a shadow, about 120 miles away, so close but impossible to touch.  decades of such longing sicken a nation.  the loss is remembered, and remember, like an illness, a heartbreak from which there is no healing, and you are left to wonder what happened to the life you were supposed to have together.  for those of us raised by mothers and fathers who experienced such trauma firsthand, it is impossible not to continue this remembering.  (11-2)

 

the one that impacted me as a writer:  lila, marilynne robinson (FSG, 2014)

if you think about a human face, it can be something you don’t want to look at, so sad or so hard or so kind.  it can be something you want to hide, because it pretty well shows where you’ve been and what you can expect.  and anybody at all can see it, but you can’t.  it just floats there in front of you.  it might as well be your soul, for all you can do to protect it.  what isn’t strange, when you think about it.  (82)

sometimes, authors teach you things through their books, and, sometimes, it’s not really anything factual but simply a way to be.  marilynne robinson was one of those authors for me this year, and, if i were to sum it up pithily, i’d put it so:  marilynne robinson taught me about writing with boldness.

over the last year, i rewrote a manuscript of short stories, and i feel like robinson came along at a good time for me.  i’ve been afraid to tackle specific issues in my stories, issues i wanted to write about but was afraid to for various reasons, but there’s something i found very emboldening about robinson’s books.  she writes about faith and doubt and the spaces between, and she writes with generosity and graciousness and tenderness.  and thoughtfulness.  there’s nothing careless about her books, nothing that feels loose or arbitrary, but there’s also an ease and naturalness to her writing, something about her prose that breathes easy — and i keep saying “books” because i read her gilead books all in a row and loved the experience of immersing myself in that world with those people for a few weeks.

lila, though.  LILA.  every time i try to talk about this book, i end up falling silent because my thoughts turn to goo.  lila, to me, at the heart of it, is a love story and not a mushy gushy one and also not one that’s only about two people falling in love but also a woman, in ways, learning to love and to be.  lila spent her life on the road, always ready to run, but then she comes to gilead and meets john ames and tries to leave but finds herself staying — and there’s something so sweet and heart-aching about lila and john ames, how they fit each other but seem to have together so late in life.

there’s more to lila than a love story, but that was my strongest takeaway from it, which is kind of remarkable because love stories and i don’t tend to mesh or hew strongly.  this one, though, stuck with me, maybe because there’s nothing saccharine sweet or stupidly sentimental about it.  it’s a very serious love because both lila and john ames are serious people, not ones to take such a thing as courtship or marriage lightly, but there’s a sweetness there, too, especially against the backdrop of lila’s backstory, which robinson also paints with tender integrity, avoiding melodramatic or overly pitying tones — and i love that about her writing, that she doesn’t give in or give sway to sentimentality or try to manipulate her readers’ emotions — robinson writes with integrity and with boldness, and that is a gift i’m incredibly grateful for.

 

by numbers:

the first book:  the surrendered, chang-rae lee (riverhead, 2010)

i was just going to leave my first, 52nd, and last books here in list form, but this passage from the surrendered is one of my favorites:

“you’ve taken pity on all of us, haven’t you?” he said, tugging her closer.  “i’m talking to you now!  i want you to listen to me now!  before you came this place was no matter or worse than any other orphanage in this damned country.  which was just fine for the kids and the aunties, and even for me.  there’s enough food and a roof and no more killing, and so what else is there to want?  but you’re leaving, and what do we have now?  you know what i found one of your girls doing after your husband announced you were leaving?”

“just let me go —“

“it was mee-sun.  she was at the well pump, drinking water straight from it like she was dying of thirst.  i passed her twice before i noticed she wasn’t stopping.  she was just drinking and drinking, getting her sweater soaked, and i had to pull her off it.  i thought she was going to drown herself.  i asked her what the hell she was doing, and she said she felt funny inside, because you weren’t going to be here anymore.  for some reason she felt like she was hungry again.  she said she used to do it during the war, so she wouldn’t feel so empty inside.”

“what would you have me do?  don’t you think i want to take every one of them?”

“then take them!” he said, grabbing her other wrist.  she resisted him and he pushed her against the shed wall without enough force that for a moment she thought he might hurt her.  and if he did she wouldn’t care.  she wouldn’t fight.  “did you think you could come and go so easily?  is this what happens in that precious brook of yours?  i want to know.  i thought it was about showing mercy to the helpless, to the innocent.  but i think that book of yours is worthless.  in fact, it’s worse than that.  it’s a lie.  it’s changed nothing and never will.”  (429-30)

the 52nd book:  the fall, albert camus (vintage, reissued 1991)

the last book:  you are one of them, elliott holt (the penguin press, 2013)

 

the author of the year:  jonathan franzen

like a wife who had died or a house that had burned, the clarity to think and the power to act were still vivd in his memory.  through a window that gave onto the next work, he could still see the clarity and see the power, just out of reach, beyond the window’s thermal panes.  he could see the desired outcomes, the drowning at sea, the shotgun blast, the plunge from a great height, so near to him still that he refused to believe he’d lost the opportunity to avail himself of their relief.

he wept at the injustice of his sentence.  “for God’s sake, chip,” he said loudly, because he sensed that this might be his last chance to liberate himself before he lost all contact with that clarity and pose rand it was therefore crucial that chip understand exactly what he wanted.  “i’m asking for your help!  you’ve got to get me out of this!  you have to put an end to it!”

even red-eyed, even tear-streaked, chip’s face was full of power and clarity.  here was a son whom he could trust to understand him as he understood himself; and so chip’s answer, when it came, was absolute.  chip’s answer told him that this was where the story ended.  it ended with chip shaking his head, it ended with him saying:  “i can’t, dad.  i can’t.”  (the corrections, 556-7)

franzen’s fun.  he’s complicated, kind of contradictory in ways, incendiary in discussions oftentimes, but fully human in all his contradictions and complexity, and his writing can be polarizing, bringing out strong opinions in people, usually about the likability of his characters or how he seems to loathe them, too, or about the way he writes about women.  he’s also wicked smart and well-informed and prone to oversharing, and he’s got a finger on the pulse of things, and, when i think of him, sometimes, i think of how everyone knows (or “knows”) what to think about him without actually having read him.  and, then, they go into his writing already with opinions about his writing, and that just complicates things more, and sometimes that’s good but other times it’s annoying because, if i have to sit and listen to people complaining about how unlikable his characters are, i might kick something because the whole likability/unlikability thing (in general) is so goddamn overdone and annoying.

i read (or reread) all of his novels this year, though i didn’t do so in order, starting with the corrections then freedom and picking up strong motion and finally the twenty-seventh city.  i also reread the discomfort zone and the essays i liked in farther away, which makes him my author of 2014, if only by the sheer amount of his work i read.

thoughts in semi-stream of conscious jumble:  i liked strong motion a whole lot, loved the way he wrote about cultish religion.  the ending was admittedly a little lukewarm for me but not so much that it put me off the book.  the twenty-seventh city was my least favorite:  the short, clipped sentences drove me a little mad; i couldn’t get behind jammu or singh or their whole conspiratorial takeover of st. louis; and i hated — h a t e d — the ending.  i actually pretty much stopped reading with ten-twenty pages to go, skimming the last few pages because i was so angry at the gratuitous (it felt very gratuitous and out of fucking nowhere) turn of events.  there are some really great essays in farther away, but i still think the collection tapers off at the end (i’m torn about franzen’s book reviews; his essays on other things, like the depressing plight of birds in the mediterranean, are incredible, though).  (also, franzen himself narrates the first two essays in farther away, yey!)  i’m not as annoyed by the first-person “autobiography” in freedom as people tend to be (i found myself more forgiving of it the second time around), and i tend to like his female characters (at least from strong motion on), like denise and renee and connie (i like connie; she deserves better than joey) — in many ways, i find them more compelling and sympathetic, while i’d like to kick the men in the ass.  the corrections, i think, is his funniest book and the one for which i have the most sentimental attachment (it was the first franzen i read).

do i think he’s a perfect writer?  no.  but i think he tries — he tries to write thoughtful books (in this, he succeeds), and he tries to write real, full people (he generally succeeds here, too, at least with his central cast of characters; his side characters tend to suffer), and he tries to place them in real, full worlds (in this, he succeeds; i’m always astounded by how well he knows his world).  and, as an author, he tries to be aware of his privilege as a white male writer, and he tries to support and help out other writers and pushes for women writers.  does he always succeed?  no, but i appreciate and acknowledge that he tries, that he’s aware of his position in the industry and of the clout of his name, but that he’s also aware that the best thing he can do is write the best books he can.  and i appreciate that the dialogue around him is pretty multi-faceted, that he raises strong opinions in people (though i wish more of said strong opinions would be better-informed), that even the sheer amount of attention paid to him points to how male (and white) publishing is.  

anyway.  i’m a fan.  clearly.  and i’m so very excited (and also kind of wary because, erm, fabulism?) for his next novel.  even if the title makes my face go :| … freedom i was okay with, but purity?  :|

 

the publisher of the year:  FSG (specifically FSG originals)

i read a lot from FSG this year (ok, FSG/picador because picador publishes much of [all of?] the paperbacks for FSG).  because i’m a sucker for this kind of thing, i actually tallied it up a few weeks ago, and i think (because idk where the paper went) it broke down into something like 18 of 61 books from FSG.  (knopf was second with 11.)

but we’re specifically talking about FSG originals here.

FSG originals describes itself as being “driven by voices that insist on being heard, stories that demand to be told, writers who are compelled to show us something new.  they defy categorization and expectation.  they are, in a word, original.”  and, considering that FSG originals has brought us titles like the silent history and area x, i’d consider that an apt description.  

it’s been fun to dive into the titles published through FSG originals.  i’ve had a mixed bag of reactions to the titles i’ve read thus far, but i find the books to be thoughtfully designed and presented, and i appreciate a [traditional] publisher trying different ways of publishing work that might be sidelined for being “different” or “weird” or “unconventional.”   FSG originals also just feels like a natural offshoot of FSG, hewing to the same qualities (good storytelling, strong writing, unique voices), so it doesn’t feel contrived, like something trying to be something else — so, all in all, i’m excited to see what new things they come out with this year and in the years to come!

 

2015

the ones i’m taking into 2015:

  1. alex ross, the rest is noise
  2. marisha pessl, special topics in calamity physics

the ones i’m looking forward to in 2015:

  1. kazuo ishiguro, the buried giant
  2. rachel kushner, the strange case of rachel k
  3. meghan daum (ed.):  selfish, shallow, and self-absorbed
  4. jonathan galassi, muse
  5. shin kyung-sook, the girl who wrote loneliness
  6. jonathan franzen, purity (!!!)

goals for 2015:

  1. read 75 books
  2. read/finish one book in korean every month
  3. blog consistently.

2013 reading review!

2013 in books!  This is long.  I also proceeded in the order in which I read these books, instead of trying to make some sort of arbitrary order …  Also, there are more quotes in here than in previous years (here are 2011 and 2012).

First Book Read in 2013:  Alice Munro, Hateship, Friendship, Courtship, Loveship, Marriage

Wrote in my book journal:  “Munro is less about writing/prose than she is about a certain tone/mood she captures. […]  Munro is so fabulous at creating a whole, lived-in world, even in the frame of a short story.”

Favorite stories were “Family Furnishings,” “Nettles,” and “What Is Remembered.”

It seemed to her that this was the first time ever that she had participated in a kiss that was an event in itself.  The whole story, all by itself.  A tender prologue, an efficient pressure, a wholehearted probing and receiving, a lingering thanks, and a drawing away satisfied.
-  “Floating Bridge” (84)

One of My Favorite Passages Was From Murakami’s South of the Border, West of the Sun:

Yukiko, I love you very much.  I loved you from the first day I met you, and I still feel the same.  If I hadn’t met you, my life would have been unbearable.  For that I am grateful beyond words.  Yet here I am, hurting you.  Because I’m a selfish, worthless human being.  For no apparent reason, I hurt the people around me and end up hurting myself.  Ruining someone else’s life and my own.  Not because I like to.  But that’s how it ends up.  (207)

blogged about this earlier this year, and to quote myself (har):  “This is such a great summation of what it means to be human, I think.  We don’t mean to hurt people or do wrong, but it can’t be helped because we’re human.  We’re imperfect and sinful and selfish, hopeless, worthless, &c, and the most we can do is the best we can — all we can do is try and recognize that we will fail, but, then, we get up and try again — so, in the end, I did appreciate Hajime’s struggle throughout the novel and how he came out from it.”

(I generally enjoyed this book; it felt more solid and less other-worldly than his other books.) 

Author of the Year:  Banana Yoshimoto

2013 was the year I read Banana Yoshimoto.  I wanted to finish all her books (that have been translated into English) this year, but I’m still working on Amrita, so, unfortunately, I can’t say I quite accomplished that goal, but I got pretty damn close!  Amrita is surprisingly long (for Yoshimoto), and, because it’s my last of her books, I’m taking it a little slower.  Or, you know, I’ve picked up three other books while reading Amrita, so …

Yoshimoto reminds me a lot of Murakami, in that I don’t necessarily find myself that engrossed in their stories/worlds/characters but I’m intrigued enough to keep reading.  And, clearly, I’ve been intrigued enough by Yoshimoto to plow through her backlist, so I’d say that probably says enough in an of itself?

(Favorite Banana Yoshimoto:  Goodbye Tsugumi

I really enjoyed the dynamic between the narrator and Tsugumi in this, and Tsugumi, particularly, cracked me up, her and her digging a hole especially, and I liked the little bits of thoughtful wisdom placed throughout the book.  In general, Goodbye Tsugumi felt very warm and tangible and genuine to me, and, in turn, I felt warm and comforted by it.  That’s generally one thing I love about books personally — they give back as much as I invest into them.

A passage:

Each one of us continues to carry the heart of each self we’ve ever been, of every stage along the way, and a chaos of everything good and rotten.  And we have to carry this weight all alone, through each day that we live.  We try to be as nice as we can to the people we love, but we alone support the weight of ourselves.  (39)

My second favourite Banana Yoshimoto would be The Lake.)

(Favorite Quote from a Banana Yoshimoto is from “Helix” in Lizard:

“Even when I have crushes on other men, I always see you in the curve of their eyebrows.”  (64)

I think that is so bloody fantastic.)

Biggest Disappointment:  Elizabeth Winder, Pain, Parties, Work:  Sylvia Plath in New York, Summer 1953

This could have been great.  Seriously.  The author had a lot of interviews to cull from, and, had it been written better (or maybe even researched better?  I can’t tell), this could have been pretty damn awesome.  Instead, we got a very superficial, surface-skimming book with a lot of quotations and stated facts, and that was that.

I did like this, though:

What strange anxiety did this all trigger in Sylvia?  The precarious nature of her own happiness, the instability of character, persona, identity, even affection.  The instability of identity — how we are seen only one dimension at a time.  Cryilly saw a kindred bluestocking.  Laurie Glazer saw a cultivated beauty.  Ann Burnside saw a caviar-stuffing barbarian.  How we are labeled for our glamour — or lack of it.  That French perfumes were far more important than she even imagined (and Sylvia never doubted their importance).  That if you stand still for a moment the world keeps moving, that sometimes no head will turn despite shiny hair and freshly applied lipstick.  That many of your peers will want less than you, and that you will envy them for that.  (203)

Least Enjoyable:  Haruki Murakami, Hard-Boiled Wonderland and the End of the World

I read this for a Murakami book club, and, while I hated the book, it made for a fun book club discussion because we were polarized — half of us loved the book while the other half hated it; there wasn’t any sort of middle ground.  For me, I think part of it was that the book wasn’t really one thing or another — it was surreal but not?  Or maybe the dream-like world segments were too convoluted?  Although the real world stuff was just as convoluted?  Maybe I just didn’t Get It?

But, I did love this passage:

“No.  Think it over carefully.  This is very important because to believe something, whatever it might be, is the doing of the mind.  Do you follow?  When you say you believe, you allow the possibility of disappointment.  And from disappointment or betrayal, there may come despair.  Such is the way of the mind.”  (351)

In the end, I’ve learned this year that neither surrealism nor magic realism does anything for me — they tend to annoy me, rather.

Quote in Defense of Stories (Because This Is Currently a Sore Subject For Me)

Now, the significance of stories is this.  While many stories are often no more than entertainment, narratives are actually so fundamental to how we think that they determine how we understand to live life itself.  The term “worldview,” from the German word Welternschauung, means the comprehensive perspective from which we interpret all of reality.  But a worldview is not merely a set of philosophical bullet points.  It is essentially a master narrative, a fundamental story about (a) what human life in the world should be like, (b) what has knocked it off balance, and (c) what can be done to make it right.
-  Timothy Keller, Every Good Endeavor (157)

And, In Relation, an Obligatory Quote from One of Franzen’s

“But Kafka’s about your life!” Avery said.  “Not to take anything away from your admiration of Rilke, but I’ll tell you right now, Kafka’s a lot more about your life than Rilke is.  Kafka was like us.  All of these writers, they were human beings trying to make sense of their lives.  But Kafka about all!  Kafka was afraid of death, he had problems with sex, he had problems with women, he had problems with his job, he had problems with his parents.  And he was writing fiction to try to figure these things out.  that’s what his books are about.  Actual living human beings trying to make sense of death and the modern world and the mess of their lives.”
-  Jonathan Franzen, The Discomfort Zone (140-1)

(I thoroughly enjoy Franzen’s non-fiction voice.  Part of it is that I feel like his non-fiction voice reads very much like him himself, which, okay, duh, sounds like an obvious thing, but a lot of times there’s a disconnect between a writer and his/her voice, even in non-fiction.  Franzen’s funny, too, or I just have a bizarre sense of humor [you know, it really could be that], but I like his general sort of crankiness and wryness and self-awareness.)

Most Sometimes-There-Is-A-Proper-Time-And-Place-For-Books:  Jeffrey Eugenides, The Marriage Plot

Eugenides is 2 for 3 in my book!  I first picked up The Marriage Plot when it was first published in 2011, but I couldn’t get past the first 20-some pages because I was in university then, studying comparative literature and surrounded by the same character types depicted in the beginning of the novel.  I picked it up in paperback earlier this year, though, when I was in law school and miserable and unhappy, and, damn, was it a comfort to my soul.

The thing that stood out to me most about The Marriage Plot, though, was how much love Eugenides had for his characters, especially Leonard, and I felt a lot of warmth/love while reading it.  The ending was good, too — not so tightly closed or neatly knotted together but rather realistic and hopeful? 

Favorite Overall:  Meg Wolitzer, The Interestings

I picked The Interestings up on a whim and started reading it on a particularly humid Wednesday in August, ignoring any and all other responsibilities I had because it was too goddamn humid to do anything but read.  I didn’t expect to love it, but I did — I head-over-heels loved it.

It’s rare (in my opinion) to find good books about friendship and, particularly, about friendship in an ensemble way, but The Interestings did so deftly, weaving together these six lives and carrying this friendship through time, which, also, is impressive — but I’d say that what I liked most about The Interestings was that the characters felt thoroughly real to me.  They felt like people to me, people I could know, could come across, and they lived lives that were actual, full lives — these people, these friends, were fleshed out, traveling the trajectories of their individual and, also, entwined lives, and I, as the reader, was there along for the ride.

This passage, in particular, gets me in the heart every single fucking time:

Once, a few years earlier, Jules had gone to see a play at Ash’s theater, and afterward, during the “talkback,” when the audience asked questions of the playwright and of Ash, who’d directed the production, a woman stood up and said, “This one is for Ms. Wolf.  My daughter wants to be a director too.  She’s applying to graduate school in directing, but I know very well that there are no jobs, and that she’s probably only going to have her dreams dashed.  Shouldn’t I encourage her to do something else, to find some other field she can get into before too much time goes by?”  And Ask had said to that mother, “Well, if she’s thinking about going into directing, she has to really, really want it.  That’s the first thing.  Because if she doesn’t, then there’s no point in putting herself through all of this, because it’s incredibly hard and dispiriting.  But if she does really, really want it, and if she seems to have a talent for it, then I think you should tell her, ‘That’s wonderful.’  Because the truth is, the world will probably whittle your daughter down.  But a mother never should.”  (460)

Also, I’m still a little in love with Ethan Figman.

Non-fiction of 2013:  Boris Kachka, Hothouse:  The Art of Survival and the Survival of Art at America’s Most Celebrated Publishing House, Farrar, Straus & Giroux

I’m such a sucker for anything related to publishing.

However, while I really, really loved what this book was about, I kind of really, really didn’t care for the writing.  For one, it drove me crazy that Kachka wasn’t consistent with the names — like, he kept hopping between “Roger” and “Straus” and “Straus Jr,” so I was bloody confused from time-to-time exactly which Straus he was referring to.  For another, the writing just seemed really uneven — it wasn’t bad, per se, just … uneven … and it didn’t necessarily detract that much from the reading, but, honestly, I couldn’t not enjoy Hothouse because it was the story of a great publishing house.

My favorite passage from it:

It may have been Straus who, by sheer force of his charm and quickness managed to preserve the company that arguably set the intellectual tone of postwar America.But it was Giroux and Robbins and Vursell and many other underpaid strivers who advised him on what to publish, how to promote it, how to translate it and sell it properly abroad — who, in short, made the company worth preserving.They worked in gloves in the winter when the heat broke down; they jerry-rigged the paper towel roll in the ladies’ room with an oversized dinner fork; they repaired their own desks and bought their own pencils and made sacrifices in their lives that well-born Roger W. Straus, Jr., would never have to make, all for the freedom to publish what they loved, and little else.  (09)

Favorite Poem Because, Yes, Sometimes, I Read Poems, Too:  Ted Hughes, “The Offers,” Howls and Whispers

Ted Hughes is one of two poets from whom I’ve read fairly extensively (the other poet being T.S. Eliot).  I always say I’m going to read more poetry, but the truth is that I probably won’t ever — I used to love poetry when I was young, but my love for poetry died a swift and permanent death early on.

The last few lines are my absolute favorite:

Even in my dreams, our house was in ruins.
But suddenly — the third time — you were there.
Younger than I had ever known you.  You
As if new made, half a wild roe, half
A flawless thing, priceless, facetted
Like a cobalt jewel.  You came behind me
(At my helpless moment, as I lowered
A testing foot into the running bath)
And spoke — peremptory, as a familiar voice
Will startle out of a river’s uproar, urgent,
Close:  ‘This is the last.  This one.  This time
Don’t fail me.’

Fun Fact:  Ted Hughes is distantly related to John Farrar of FSG!

Last Book Read in 2013:  Aleksandar Hemon, The Book of My Lives

Read it.  I’d have more to say about this, but I finished it on 2013 December 31, and I’m still processing it in my head.  But read it.  I highly recommend it.

Going Into 2014 Reading:

  • Chang-rae Lee, The Surrendered
  • Naoki Higashida, The Reason I Jump
  • Diane Middlebrook, Her Husband:  Hughes and Plath — A Marriage

Looking Forward to in 2014:

  • Chang-rae Lee, On Such a Full Sea (Riverhead, 2014 January 7)
  • Lydia Davis, Can’t and Won’t (FSG, 2014 April 8)
  • Shin Kyung-sook, I’ll Be Right There (Other Press, 2014 May 6)
  • Gong Ji-young, Our Happy Time (Atria Books/Marble Arch Press, 2014 July 1)
  • Haruki Murakami, Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage (Random House, 2014 August 12)

2012 reading review!

hoping to make this an annual thing; it helps me not only read more but also to read more thoughtfully.  2011’s review is here.

Favorite Overall:  Salman Rushdie, Joseph Anton
Ah, Joseph Anton — I don’t think I’ve outwardly emoted as much as I did whilst reading Joseph Anton.  It made me laugh, made me cry, made me sigh, and it made me long for community, specifically a literary community, but generally a community of mutual support.  It made me believe in humanity again, surprising, maybe, considering the context of the memoir, but I loved how this community of friends and authors stepped up to support Rushdie even though the threat of death was very real, even though, no, they didn’t really have to do so.  Also, I just loved the members of the security team; some of the ways in which they sought to help Rushdie out, especially where his kid was concerned, made me cry.

Rushdie does this whole community and network of people and support full justice in Joseph Anton, I think, gives it the credit it more-than-deserves, and Joseph Anton is a very personal book that didn’t feel too heavily personal.  I’d say that was most likely because it was written in the third person, and I found that enhanced my enjoyment because the telling helped the memoir.  On one level, the third person actually made it more enjoyable because it created a distance between the teller and the telling, which I think was important in a story like this.  (Or this could also just be me because I personally actually don’t enjoy memoirs that much and generally find them more indulgent narratives than not, except in the case of truly extraordinary circumstances.)

Joseph Anton, though, isn’t simply a story about an extraordinary circumstances — it’s also a well-told one.  I actually haven’t read Rushdie before, although I’ve intended to, and I loved his wit and his frank writing as well as his assurance and confidence and intelligence.  In person, he’s a very self-composed, very competent person (I saw him at the New Yorker Festival in conversation with David Remnick), and that sense of self comes across in the pages of Joseph Anton, in which, yes, he does sometimes go on the defense and justify why he did some of the things he did but does so in an entirely unapologetic way.  I also don’t remember thinking that Rushdie was trying to gloss over the mistakes he made in those years recorded in Joseph Anton or that he tried to paint himself as this glowingly heroic figure, and it was this sense of an attempt at normalcy, this sense of humanity, that drew out these strong emotions and made me laugh and cry and sigh in ways I haven’t really when reading other books and certainly never have when reading other memoirs.

Favorite Book-In-Translation:  Shin Kyung-sook, Please Look After Mom
Please Look After Mom is a great glimpse into Korean motherhood/nationhood.  It captures so amazingly the strength of Korean women as well as the culture of post-war Korea, and I was so impressed by the novel overall that the slightly lackluster ending was entirely forgivable.  (I thought that the novel could only end the way it did, but I would have gone for something less … fanciful?)  It’s not a novel you can read on the surface level, though; I think it’s more crucial in Please Look After Mom than it might be in other novels to consider why the characters act and react the way they do in a cultural/social (in this way, in post-war Korean culture) context (and I hate that word).

I actually remember thinking that many of the elements of Please Look After Mom might be lost or misunderstood by those unfamiliar with Korean culture.  Take this review for example — this reviewer reads the book on a surface level, and I actually cringed when I first read this review when I was Googling reviews after finishing the novel because the reviewer just didn’t get it and didn’t even seem to try to get it.  This other review, though, I found to be more thoughtful and, also, more respectful, and it kind of explains what I mean when I say that Please Look After Mom can’t be read on a surface level better than I can put it.

Also, I picked up Please Look After Mom and started reading it in its original Korean and loved the writing, at least on the first page because that’s as far as I got in the bookstore (had), but I’m planning on picking it up in Korean as well as more of Shin’s work.  I know she has another novel currently being translated by Knopf and slated for publication in spring, so I’m excited for that!

Most Spectacular in Terms of Voice:  Kazuo Ishiguro, The Remains of the Day
I’ve said this before, but I will most likely continue to say this because Ishiguro’s ability to inhabit a voice is absolutely brilliant.  I started reading The Remains of the Day in Japan and finished it off in New York City, and I was pretty much in awe through and through because, regardless of how I feel about Ishiguro’s other novels, I have yet to find myself blurring his narrators because they tend to be so complete and so fully embodied.  (Novel-wise, I was pretty ambivalent towards When We Were Orphans and A Pale View of Hills.)  

The Remains of the Day is Ishiguro in fine form, and it’s really this compact, rather sedate, and collected novel.  I’ve always admired Ishiguro’s “plainer” prose, and I describe it as “plainer” because he’s not really a fancy, elaborate writer, but I love that really, love how restrained his writing reads but how his prose is still very full and complete and rounded.  I admire it, actually, that sparseness, and it serves him well in The Remains of the Day because of the nature of Stevens (the narrator) as this collected, self-possessed butler.

Favorite Collection of Essays, Which is Really a Cheat Category Because I Very Rarely Read Collections of Essays:  Jonathan Franzen, Farther Away
I honestly didn’t expect to love Farther Away as much as I did (I liked How to be Alone, but I wasn’t jumping all over it like I was with Farther Away), but I did.  Admittedly, I think the collection started off very strong but faltered near the end — I was very lukewarm towards the last few essays and thought they could either have been placed closer to the beginning of the collection or omitted altogether because Farther Away would have been no worse off with the omission really.  The essay about Alice Munro in particular had me scratching my head, and I’d say that was my least favorite in the collection because I couldn’t quite get a handle on his tone — he sounded both genuine and also somewhat sarcastic.  On the other hand, I enjoyed his book reviews very much even if I’d never read the books he was reviewing, and all his essays about birds and the threats they face bummed me out, but I suppose that was partly the point because ignorance is bliss but awareness is not.  His general cantankerousness never ceases to amuse me, though, especially when it comes to technology, and, all in all, well, I thoroughly enjoyed this collection and am looking to pick up How to be Alone again.

I love Franzen — I’ve never been shy in loudly stating so — and his grasp of language makes me so happy.  He makes his writing read so effortlessly, which makes me imagine how much he must deliberate over every single word, and I appreciate that he makes it read so easily because that’s a skill in and of itself — and one I really do admire fully because I find that to be incredibly hard to do. 

Most Disappointing:  Ian McEwan, Sweet Tooth
Oh, how sad this makes me!  Sweet Tooth was ….. mmm, how should I say this.

Immediately after I’d finished it, I’d thought, Hmm, okay, maybe the ending kind of negates my more hesitant feelings towards the rest of the novel, but, the more i thought about, the more I came to the conclusion that, no, it kind of really didn’t.  The thing is that the weakest part of the novel is the voice — I wasn’t once convinced of Serena’s voice, found it rather distancing and lacking — so, when the ending came around, I thought it was McEwan’s way of subverting a weakness, like he’d been aware of where the novel might not be so successful and had come up with this little twist to render it all right.  I think, though, that it might have worked better had Serena’s voice been more convincing, more earnest, more believable, but I was always aware that This Is McEwan’s Voice, and that just placed more distance between me and the novel.

Pity.  I was hoping for something mind-blowing to follow the beautifully written ennui that was Solar.

Faithful rereads:  Kazuo Ishiguro, Never Let Me Go, and Ian McEwan, On Chesil Beach, both reread twice this year.  Also reread Sum (David Eagleman) and The English Patient (Michael Ondaatje) once.

Reading Theme:  North Korea
I had a bloody awesome time reading book after book about North Korea.  Admittedly, the craze sort of petered out after I finished Nothing to Envy, but I’ve still got a book I’m working through and a few more I want to pick up in the near future, but, for now, I think the theme has read itself out.  It was fascinating, too, because I had all these preconceptions about North Korea and, in connection, North Koreans, and I think the most important thing that came from my reading craze is the humanization of North Koreans because, even If I never intended to, I found myself realizing that I’d been dehumanizing them and rendering them into these stick figure characterizations based off general blanket statements/horror stories.

I really want to say more — a lot more — about this (and have wanted to for a while), but my books are back home in NYC, and I also still have things I’m ruminating over, so we’ll just have to come back to this in the future.

Most Needed in Terms of Healing:  Tobias Wolff, Old School
I started reading Old School in Furano after I’d cried my eyes out from acute loneliness in my hostel.  I was roughly a week into Japan, and the first three days in Tokyo had been rough, and, even though Sapporo  and Asahikawa had been loads better, once I got to my hostel in Furano in the drizzle of a late afternoon, I think the strain of the first week of backpacking alone in a foreign country just slammed into me like a sledgehammer.

My only solution, obviously, was to pick up a book, and I only had Zöe (my iPad), but Old School was one of the books I’d purchased before hopping on my plane to Japan — and, seriously, it was exactly what I needed at that moment in time.

Old School is amazing — how could it not be?  It’s funny, heart-warming, and earnest, but, more importantly, it’s about literature.  It’s about authors and books and how these authors and books played a role in one man’s life, and it was just the book I needed in that moment, and it helped me get my head back together, to rearrange my itinerary so I could stay in Hokkaido longer because Hokkaido did amazing things for my heart, too.  It got me back in the proper headspace where I could think creatively again, and there are those books that are amazing not only in and of themselves but also in how they bring you together and patch you back together because of their amazingness — and Old School happened to be that book this year, and I pounced on it when I found a copy at Housing Works in September, so I’ve got a hard paper copy I can hold and pet, too!

Most I-WIsh-I-Hadn’t-Bothered:  Erin Morgernstern, The Night Circus
This was such a waste of time, sorry to say.  I was fond of the characters, and I did love the world, but, oh, the novel itself simply did not do its fantastic elements justice.  The writing itself was cliche and much too literal (I understand the need to describe fantastical worlds as that in The Night Circus, but there’s being descriptive and then there’s literally using words to describe things), and the main story itself was anticlimactic and, frankly, not all that interesting in execution, which was really regrettable because it could have been awesome.  

In my initial recap of The Night Circus, I wrote:

it was just too preoccupied with itself to bother to create the emotional/narrative connections required to get there.

I think that’s still a pretty accurate summation of how I felt about The Night Circus.  The writing was too shallow to create anything substantial, and, to be honest, I just didn’t feel like Morgernstern really cared to create a deeper narrative beyond what the world she created intrinsically offered.

The Book That Made Me Reassess My Feelings Toward the Author:  Murakami Haruki, Norwegian Wood
I’ve had a soft spot for Murakami for years, and, yes, although my fondness for Murakami hasn’t waned much, my opinions of him and his writing have changed since 1Q84.

I reread Norwegian Wood earlier this year, and it kind of extended all the thoughts 1Q84 had raised regarding Murakami (that had then been carried further by After Dark, which I read after Norwegian Wood).  Murakami is great at capturing and conveying a mood, and it’s pretty much always a mood of loneliness/aloneness.  The “always” there isn’t meant to be a bad thing actually because Murakami writes loneliness incredibly well, but reading Murakami can sometimes be a narrowing experience because I’ve come to the conclusion that Murakami speaks well to certain moments in your life, which are recurring.  This isn’t a bad thing, I don’t think, but something that I think is rather inevitable when an author writes so particularly well about a specific theme.

I don’t know.  This little blurb is a little odd because, although I’m starting to see Murakami in a different light, I’m honestly no less fond of him.  But maybe I’m also a little less in awe of him?  Or maybe that’s also not the proper way to phrase it.  Murakami, though, continues to speak to a very specific part of me, and I suppose I’ve become more aware of how sterile his novels can feel and how that isn’t necessarily a preferable thing for me, but I’ll still continue to be anticipate his next books and still pick him up when I’m in that space where I just need what Murakami can offer because only Murakami can do what Murakami does — and, yes, any author worth his/her clout will be unique in that way, but Murakami somehow elevates that by being a niche upon himself — and I really don’t think any of this is making any sense now, so I think I’ll stop and try to make better sense of it on a later date.

Most Could-Have-Been-Awesome:  Adam Johnson, The Orphan Master’s Son
The Orphan Master’s Son had potential; Johnson has potential; and, despite feeling let down by The Orphan Master’s Son, I’ll definitely be checking out Johnson’s next book because Johnson is a good writer.

The thing is that I feel like a story like The Orphan Master’s Son might have been better served in the hands of a more experienced novelist — that is, I would have loved to see what Johnson could have done with it after he had one or two novels under his belt because it was a big novel set in a specific world, and I do commend Johnson for his ambition.  (But we’ve seen the term “ambition” bandied about enough with 1Q84 and whether or not ambition is sufficient for praise.)  

I had two problems with The Orphan Master’s Son.  The first was with the voice (or multiple voices) — for one, I didn’t really find multiple voices necessary, and, for another, I spent half of the first part of the novel thinking that it was written in the first person (and thought that, you know, maybe it would have been more interesting in the first person?).  The multiple voices also were problematic in that the voices weren’t distinct enough, except for the voice of the propaganda, which was effectively executed but oftentimes felt unnecessarily lengthy.  The second problem was that the majority of the conflict/tension seemed to be sourced from the setting/situation of the novel instead of being provided for by the narrative — this, actually, was a big problem because, while, yes, the narrative wasn’t lacking in conflict, it wasn’t necessarily being driven by the desirable sort of conflict that leaves you flipping the pages in suspense.

Basically, I read The Orphan Master’s Son in one day because I knew that, if I stopped, I wouldn’t pick it up again, but I didn’t not enjoy it while I was reading even though i didn’t necessarily find it all that compelling.  To be honest, story-wise, I wonder if that might have been purely because it is set in North Korea, but, in conclusion, I did like Johnson’s writing enough to keep him on my radar.

Most Significant Accomplishment:  Marcel Proust, Swann’s Way
Oh, hell yes.  After years of making it a New Year’s Resolution to read Proust goddamnit, I’ve finally picked up Proust and read him.  Or, at the time of this posting, am reading him.  And, you know, Swann’s Way is beautiful — the language is ornate and fluid and, yes, twisted up to the point that it’s really easy to get lost in — but it’s wonderful and masterful, and, ah, I’m so happy to be reading it, not only in a sense of personal accomplishment but also simply as a reader/writer who loves word and language and …. yeah.  It’s the perfect book with which to bid adieu to 2012 and welcome 2013.

And Reading Goals for 2013:

  1. read more Proust!!!!!
  2. reread Anna Karenina.
  3. maybe, uh, get going on my Literary Wall of Shame.
  4. speaking of the above, read Nabokov.  For shame.  Seriously.
  5. read more.  like, a whole lot more.

2011 reading review!

Most memorable:  The Corrections, Jonathan Franzen; 1Q84, Haruki Murakami
2011, for me, was indubitably the year of Jonathan Franzen, launched with The Corrections, the first book I read in 2011 as well as the first Franzen I read.  It took me about a week to complete — a week of doing the bare minimum of coursework and required school reading — and, by the end, I was drained and rather blue because The Corrections isn’t exactly happy, cheery, uplifting reading.  Then I read How to be Alone and The Discomfort Zone (love the cover art) then, a few months later, Freedom then, a few months after that, The Twenty-Seventh City.  Now, all I’ve left is Strong Motion, and how sad that thought makes me!

(Favourite Franzen is still The Corrections, though.  Freedom spawned a few weeks of thought and discussion, but I found myself unable to talk about Freedom without references back to The Corrections.  I still refer back to The Corrections; I don’t read much American literature; but I dare say Franzen does a brilliant job at capturing a sector of American suburbia in his writing.)

I’ve been anticipating 1Q84 since it was first published in Japan in 2009, and it didn’t disappoint.  It’s long — 925 pages — and meandering, and it’s by no means a perfect novel (the dialogue between Aomame and Ayumi is awkward, awkward, awkward, so disconcertingly so that I wonder if something were lost in translation because the other dialogue doesn’t read so stiffly) — but the thing with Murakami is that he’s a writer you read in big picture, ignoring the thought that the novel might be better serviced had it been a good two-, three-hundred pages shorter.

There seems to be something so wrong about entertaining even such thoughts because this slow burn is something Murakami does so well.  There were parts, yes, where I wished he would hurry on with it, but I only carry vague memories of such wishes because they were never so loud that I wanted to stop reading.  More memorable, I suppose, is the squeamishness that came hand-in-hand with the novel’s larger thematic elements, none of which I really want to dive into because I loved the surprise elements that came with diving in this novel without a single idea as to what it was about.

A new ritual:  rereading Ishiguro’s Never Let Me Go every year.  It still gets me every single time.

Most monumental/regretful finish:  The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath
This took me over three years to complete — intentional, really, because I wanted this to last a long, long time — so take my with it I did, picking it up every so often to read more, highlight some more, write down some more passages, all the while taking detours to read biographies, Letters Home, and some of Plath’s (and Ted Hughes’) poetry.  (Loving Birthday Letters thus far — they bleed of Hughes’ love for Plath.)

But all good things, like everything else, must come to an end, and I have finally finished my first read of Plath’s journals.  I anticipate that this is a book I’ll continue to come back to time and time again; my worn out paperback will travel with me everywhere I go; and her journals have only really whetted my interest and curiosity about everything Sylvia Plath — inevitable, really, because the aftermath of her suicide is something I find personally fascinating, that need by people to place reasons and assign blame because nothing can be left unexplained or unreasoned, because someone has to bear responsibility.

Anyway, this was an interesting read, partly because there’s a lot that she writes that I empathise with — her fears, her aspirations, her struggles as a writer, a woman, a mother, a wife, her battles with sinus colds, her insecurity.  Sylvia Plath wasn’t a perfect human being because no one is, and I rather dislike that about her following — that cut-throat need to build her up as more than she was — because Sylvia Plath was flawed, and her work is powerful and strong because she was flawed.

A long time finishing:  The History of Love, Nicole Krauss
It took me over three years to finish this, too, which isn’t a negative comment as to how I feel about this novel.  If I didn’t much care for it, I’d have dropped it instead of coming back to it  continuously, and Nicole Krauss is indubitably my favourite contemporary woman author — and she’s American!  My favourite by her is still Man Walks Into a Room, which I read two years after I started The History of Love, because The History of Love, sometimes, felt bogged down by its voice.  I could only read it in phases, in little pockets stolen here and there; it’s so saturated in emotion that my palate couldn’t take it in large mouthfuls (much like French cuisine); but I’d say this really is a testament to Krauss’ immense skill and ability.

The ending was a slow burn like Ishiguro’s Never Let Me Go — a slow, wonderful burn that sapped me of tears because it just so perfectly tied up the novel.

Biggest disappointment:  The Tiger’s Wife, Téa Obreht
Téa Obreht has all the makings of a good novelist.  She’s young — my age — with a strong sense of language and story, and The Tiger’s Wife has the makings of a good novel — if you could break story-telling down to a formula, which you can’t without rendering it a series of cliches, and I’m rather tempted to say that, yes, The Tiger’s Wife toes that line.  (The Telegraph actually says it has fallen past that line.)

My main problem with the novel is that I couldn’t figure out what The Tiger’s Wife was.  I’m not typically a stickler for genre and don’t find it necessary to pigeon-hole novels into specific categories because a good story is a good story, pure and simple, but it’s a problem when questioning the -ism of a novel displaces you from a novel — and that was my main sticking point with The Tiger’s Wife.  It tried to be magical realism but fell short in the same way it tried to be realism, and this lack of commitment placed a limit on the novel — because it was neither this nor that, all the various story threads collapsed in a messy tangle.

My other problem was actually with the writing itself.  Obreht has potential — she does — but The Tiger’s Wife I felt could have used more revision, more tightening of language, more creative language.  As a narrative, it was almost bland and dangerously so, and, in the end, the novel read like a draft, a skeleton even, that could have been pretty enchanting had it been more thoroughly fleshed out and given a proper direction — and, honestly, it’s a novel that made me wonder if it would’ve gotten half the praise it has had it not been the début novel of so young an author.

Least Favourite:  Middlesex, Jeffrey Euginedes
I’ve written briefly about this novel before — or more like mentioned it and how much I disliked it — and I suppose it deserves its dues because I still haven’t been able to let go of how much I disliked it.  I don’t know what it is; I just feel like it betrayed me because I love The Virgin Suicides so — but, simultaneously, I’m also confused because there was nothing technically wrong with Middlesex:  it’s well-written, well-charted, well-narrated.  In short, all the pieces are there, and yet …?

My problem, honestly, was that the novel held me at arm’s length.  It kept its distance from me personally, blocking all the ways in which I could fall into it and love it and treasure it like I do The Virgin Suicides, almost like it was aware that it was too good for me, and it’s a pity, really, because Euginedes is definitely a skilled writer.  But, maybe, this just goes to show that there’s nothing formulaic about writing, that no writer is perfect (I mean, look at McEwan’s Solar — beautifully written [because when does McEwan write something that isn’t beautifully penned?] with an interesting enough story and interesting enough characters — but the sum of all the parts was a rather dull novel), that not everyone is going to like the same book (which just goes to prove my argument that there’s no need to be ashamed for not having read someone/something).

Of course, though, my dislike of this novel wasn’t great enough to deter me from picking up The Marriage Plot, which I hope will fare better, more positively in my book.  Euginedes is skilled and interesting enough that my dislike of one novel isn’t going to put me off the rest of his work; he’s definitely one of the more interesting writers writing today — or so I opine.

Favourite:  The English Patient, Michael Ondaatje
I. Loved. This. Novel. — and how do you measure this?  I’ve got it in paperback and as an iBook.  And am looking for a hardback copy.  And am reading it for the second time in two months.  If that isn’t love, I don’t know what is.

Ondaatje’s language is absolutely masterful; the words drip beautifully — seriously, so beautifully — and languidly off the page; and, when read out loud (read this book out loud!), they slide off your tongue.  It’s been a while since I’ve read a novel that had me in such thralls over its language, but The English Patient doesn’t excel only in its technical form — the narrative is tightly woven and sweeping and romantic without falling prey to the usual saccharine or melodramatic traps of romantic endeavours.  There’s an aching sense of loss written into the entire novel, and, in so many ways, this is the sort of novel I aspire to write because it’s just so magnificent and successful in the story it sets out to tell and how it determines to tell it.

The problem with a novel like this is that all of Ondaatje’s other books fall under high, high, high expectations.  It’s rather kept me from diving into the rest of his back list, but, then again, Atonement set the bar high for Ian McEwan, and McEwan’s back list managed to raise that bar even higher (ugh, Enduring Love and The Comfort of Strangers are so perfect, I want to weep in despair).